Knocked Up
by NightmareGlitter
Summary: Crackfic, makes fun of mpreg. Haou is not happy to discover that he's accidentally gotten Juudai pregnant. Neither is he happy about how weird Juudai's been acting. Oh, the insanity they have to endure! And what does Fubuki have to do with it? HaouJuu
1. Chapter 1: OOPS!

**A/N: PLEASE READ THIS SO I WON'T SEEM LIKE A DOLT TO YOU. Well, I can explain this. I really can. You see, several factors contributed to this piece of shit. I was feeling really down and wishing I could write a funny story, I could not get the damn scenes of Crack!Selfshipping Mpreg out of my head (even though I STILL HATE Mpreg with a passion) and I was bored. I just so happened to be in class and conveniently had a notebook in front of me. The result? THIS! :D You can thank me later. Lol. Yes, it was sadly the only way to get that damn Crack!Selfshipping Mpreg to leave me alone. DX Yes, it has multiple chapters. Yes, I will keep up with my other fics too. Yes, I will answer your messages. OK?! Lol**

**Warnings: Makes fun of: OOCness, mpreg, canon misconceptions, etc. If you flame me I will laugh because you missed the point. But I will take it as a compliment because I know what not to do already and this is what not to do in a SERIOUS fic. This is only for fun, so enjoy and laugh, mmk? Mmk. I really can write better than this. Y'all know that. (Oh and I will be disregarding some of my own rules just because it's making fun of shit.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Wish I did SO bad. Then it would be longer. And 5Ds would wait.**

* * *

Chapter 1: OOPS!!

It was a bright and beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Juudai was…screaming. Wait. Scratch that. It was actually a dark and DREARY morning because Juudai was not at Duel Academia. No, the poor brunet was stuck in Dark World, in Haou's grandiose castle. Currently, the boy was lying in the middle of the floor, yelling his head off. It woke up the entire household--all of which should have been awake anyway--and sent them into a frenzy. And if they had been cranky, oh, boy, then one could only imagine…One could only hope that--

"JUUDAI!!"

Too late. The door to the bedroom flung open, and a very angry Juudai look-alike stormed into the room. His golden eyes flashed in rage, his fists clenched by his sides. Apparently, Juudai was not the only one who had woken up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.

"What are you screaming for?!" Haou demanded to know, stamping his foot, "And why are you not dressed?! I told you to get up an HOUR ago!"

Juudai stared up at the other boy with teary eyes. "I'm going to die," He whispered, trembling like a Chihuahua, "I'm really going to die…"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Haou snapped, his already menacing scowl deepening, "Just because you have to go to school today does NOT mean you're going to die. Now get up! You have to get ready. You need an education. I can't have my queen being an ignorant fool!"

Whoa…pause.

It was true; strange, but true. Juudai really _was_ Haou's queen. It didn't matter that they were the same person. It didn't matter that Juudai was male. There was no need to be sexist about the matter; males could be queens too! At least, in Haou's opinion, anyway. He hadn't thought that he would have been able to stand an actual woman, and he needed someone he could push around and manipulate. Juudai fit the bill. And, since he _was_ king of Dark World, he could very well marry a boy if he wanted to!

At first, he had not known how the hell he was going to do it--since he had lived in Juudai's head and all. But then, his opportunity for freedom had come one day when Juudai was very angry…

* * *

_It was after eight o' clock. Juudai still remained in bed, twitching as he dreamt. He always dreamed he was dueling, but this time, it was different. This time, he was actually losing. In reality, Juudai did not care whether he won or lost. However, he still did not like losing all that much. And especially not when he was dreaming. After all, dreams should be good, and this one was turning out to be a nightmare. He only awoke after he received the fatal blow to his life points, then popped out of bed so quickly that he hit his head on the bunk above._

_"OW!" He howled as he fell off of the bunk and landed on his already sore head. He squirmed to get untangled from the sheets._

_When he finally managed to free himself, he looked at the clock, and his eyes widened. At this point, he was already late for class. But there was something more important than class that he had already missed…_

_"Breakfast!" He shouted, leaping to his feet to get dressed. _

_He hurried for the closet so fast that he tripped over the chair and landed on his face. Groaning, he picked himself off the floor only to stub his toe against the door frame. This was not going to be a good day._

_By the time he had actually gotten to the cafeteria, he had perked up a bit. After all, he always tried to look on the bright side. And he had already told himself that at least he had missed class, and at least they had tempura for breakfast that morning. And God knows how much Juudai loves tempura. It could make even the worst day worth it for him. He was expecting that that morning would be no exception. He would eat his troubles away in a steaming hot plate of fried shrimp goodness. _

_As soon as he stepped foot into the vacant cafeteria, his heart sank as he realized that wasn't going to happen. His mouth dropped open at the sight: Pharaoh had jumped up on the table and was calmly licking stray crumbs off an empty plate, his plate to be exact. __**That damn cat had eaten every last bit of his fucking tempura.**_

_Now, Juudai normally was a good-natured, temperate indivual. But when __**anyone**__--other than Johan; but that will be explained later--gets into Juudai's tempura, OH boy, he'd better watch out! And that day was NO exception. Oh, he was SO angry that he could've choked that cat, though he didn't because he just wasn't that type of person. He was just trying to find it in his heart to think of something good that might come of this when, who else but HAOU seized the opportunity. After all, Juudai's rage gave him the power to come out! Because __**everyone**__ knows he's like a demon 'possessing' the boy, waiting to take control! _

_Before Juudai could do anything to calm himself down, his eyes flashed fiery gold. Haou's gaze drifted from one end of the cafeteria to the next. At long last…FREEDOM! Living in Juudai's head could get rather dull. He was SO ready to move back to Dark World and rule over it with an iron fist, crushing all the commoners with his oppressive ways. And he was also looking forward to taking Juudai as his queen! But wait…there was a bit of a problem. __**They shared a body.**__ There had to be some way to change that…_

_He leaned against the wall to think, ignoring Juudai's confusion and protests. Perhaps there was some way he could obtain another body…But he couldn't 'repossess' some else! If he wanted another body, he would have to forge one himself. It would have to be artificial. But to do that, he would need other host body parts and a philosopher's stone. Wait…wrong anime in mind…but hey, it still works for this one too! Actually, he was on the right track. He would need alchemy. And preferably, someone who knew exactly what they were doing. He had dabbled in it, but he didn't have the skill to create a form of his own, that he could inhabit. Now, who did Juudai know that could help him…? He thought he could remember something, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it…His eyes drifted over to the cat, who burped up a floating yellow ball of light._

_"YES I'M FREE!" Came a higher-pitched voice._

_Haou's eyes widened. Of course! Daitokuji-sensei! He opened his mouth to shout an order, then remembered; if he wanted this done, then he was going to have to be polite about it. "Excuse me," He said, carefully choosing his words, "but I'm a bit stuck here in Juudai's body…Could you perhaps help me out?"_

_Daitokuji-sensei did not respond for a moment. Then: "Oh, I'm not very good at those. You see, I don't have the philosopher's stone."_

_Haou gritted his teeth, but managed to keep his cool. "Could you try again?" He asked calmly, yet firmly._

_"Well, I would like to, but I don't have hands. If you do exactly what I say, will you make me another body too? I'm really tired of living in my cat. It can get really smelly in there and when he--"_

_"I don't want to hear it," Haou grumbled, grimacing, "I'll do it, Ok? Just…tell me what to do." He would do whatever it took to get what he wanted._

_"Ok, but you must never do this again. You must be sworn to secrecy! It's a very dangerous technique." Obviously, Daitokuji-sensei was not only desperate to get his body back, but also a bit too trusting._

_Haou merely accepted the terms and went along with what the other man had said. He knew he'd better keep up his end of the deal too, or something bad might happen. He could get rather superstitious. _

_Daitokuji-sense led him to a secret lab under the Osiris dorm, where he had performed many of his experiments. There were many large tanks and test tubes, as well as strange--and painful--looking tools set up nearby. Haou wasn't so sure he should trust him with this anymore, but did he really have a choice?_

_"This might end up being painful and take a long time, so don't get discouraged," Daitokuji-sensei told him, "It'll be hard but…I'm sure I'll get it right this time."_

_Haou did not like that sound of that. But…he felt as though he did not have a choice. He wanted a separate life so badly! It could not be denied that it would be hard--particularly since he and Juudai were one soul--but, he was sure it could be done._

_As he began the process, he felt for some reason that he was selling his soul over to Daitokuji-sensei, who even then had an ominous edge to his voice…_

* * *

Well, long story short, Haou had succeeded in getting a body of his own. He had attempted to make one for Daitokuji-sensei too, since they had to fulfill their contract, but it really couldn't be done since there were no remains to copy any DNA from. He'd had to give up.

Needless to say, Juudai had been more than a little surprised when he'd opened the door to his room and found Haou sitting on his bed. He hadn't really known who Haou was, just that it was bad. Normally, he would've thought that Haou was his long-lost twin and been overjoyed to see him. But the king had had such a wicked gleam in his eyes…It could not be denied that he had terrible plans for Juudai. And that had only been the beginning.

Even though they had started off on the wrong foot, Haou had coaxed him into relaxing. At first, he had played nice enough, and befriended Juudai. That was step one of his evil plan. Juudai suspected nothing--although he had noticed the smirks that sometimes flickered across Haou's face and the cruel, bloodthirsty look in his cold eyes--and had readily accepted Haou. They had hung out plenty, and even grown somewhat close. Even though Haou had been planning on using Juudai for whatever the hell he wanted, the more he had gotten to know him, the more he had liked him and the firmer his decision had been about taking him as his queen.

And that had been when he had made his move.

Having borrowed a book about inter-dimensional portals from Daitokuji-sensei, Haou had invited Juudai to go for a walk through the woods with him, at night. Of course, Juudai loved to go on these sorts of escapades, so he had readily agreed. And the worst part had been that he hadn't suspected a thing. Haou had taken full advantage of this. He had led Juudai out to a remote area where no one would find them, then performed the necessary procedures discreetly before challenging Juudai to a duel that would break the barrier between Dark World and Juudai's world. And the dolt had fallen right into his trap. Naturally, Haou had won, and everything had fallen into place just as he'd planned. The next thing Juudai had known, he was being carried off in a burlap sack to Haou's castle.

Juudai had remained locked up in a tower for several days. Sort of like Rapunzel only he didn't have long hair and his prince was actually an evil king who _was_ his captor. At that point, a servant had busted into the room unannounced, thrown him in the bathwater, and scrubbed him like there was no tomorrow. After that, several attendants had dried him and rubbed scented oils all over him, causing him to protest greatly. But he didn't protest nearly so much to that as he did to what came next.

He, Yuuki Juudai, the brave multi-time savior of the world, had been forced into a dress. But not just any dress. A _white_ dress. A white _wedding_ dress. He had never been so humiliated in his life.

But that hadn't been nearly as bad as being forced to walk down the aisle and finally seeing _who_ he had to marry. His jaw had dropped. He had been going to marry…himself? And there was nothing he could do since they were no longer in his world. Haou was in complete control. Oh, the shame.

But that had been nothing compared to the wedding night.

Things had not gone too well between them after that.

* * *

"Juudai, are you ready yet?" Haou banged on the bathroom door, looking exasperated, "You're going to be late for school again!! You know how I feel about that…"

There was a groan from inside. "I…can't go…"

"Why not?!" Haou yelled, getting angrier. "You most certainly can go!"

"I can't…because…because…You're going to kill me…" The voice whimpered.

Haou sighed and crossed his arms. "Ok, what is it this time?" He really was not in the mood to put up with Juudai's antics. Especially since the brunet had been so clumsy lately he'd been breaking everything in sight. He didn't even want to _know_ what Juudai had broken this time.

"I…I…um…"

"What?!" Haou spat, narrowing his eyes, impatience boiling over into anger.

"I…threw up everywhere…" Juudai sounded somewhat weak as he said this.

Haou rolled his eyes. "Clean it up then! You don't have to tell me about it!"

"No…Haou…I…ummm…I don't know how to tell you this…" Juudai's voice had been reduced to a mere squeak.

"Well just spit it out!" Haou shouted at the door.

Juudai opened the door, his eye twitching a bit. His face was pale and his mouth was opening and closing like a fish. Haou glared at him, hissing through his teeth that Juudai better compose himself, that he was royalty. Shaking his head, Juudai yanked him into the bathroom, and sat on the edge of the bathtub, hugging himself and rocking back and forth.

"Dammit, Haou, you freaking got me pregnant!"

There was a long silence.

Finally: "WHAT?!" The walls of the castle practically shook.

Juudai sunk back a little, and muttered bitterly, "I said, you got me pregnant! I don't know how it happened…"

"But you're a MALE." Haou sputtered, "You can't…it's biologically impossible…it makes no sense…"

"I know…" Juudai groaned mournfully, rocking back and forth harder, "Oh, damn! If this was going to happen then why couldn't it have been YOU?! I mean, I topped you a few times!"

Haou's face reddened. "BE QUIET!"

"I'm too young to die!" Juudai wailed, "I don't want this! I don't want it at all! I want rid of it! NO! I can't do that…that's horrible! Oh, damn…What am I going to do?! I can't do this…I really can't do this…I'm too young…I'm not a girl…How the hell am I going to give birth to this thing, huh? Where the hell does it even GO?!"

Haou stared at him as though he were crazy. "Juudai…are you even sure you're pregnant? I really find that hard to believe…"

"I know, I know," Juudai groaned, "But…but…but…the pregnancy test said--"

"Where'd you get that?" Haou snapped.

"Um…I don't know," Juudai blinked stupidly.

Groaning, Haou held his face in his hands and counted slowly to ten. "And…" He said, taking a deep breath, "You know that this thing works, how? After all, it only works for females. How could it POSSIBLY work for you as well?"

Juudai shrugged. "I don't know. Never thought about that. I mean, it just appeared and there was a note attached to it that said 'try me.' So I did. And it said I was pregnant. Which would probably explain why I've been feeling off lately."

"That's ridiculous!" Haou spat, his eyes narrowing, "Stop this at once! You're not getting out of school like that!!"

"But I'm not lying!!" Juudai whined, his face crumpling, "I really am pregnant!"

Haou clenched his teeth and his fists, his eyes squeezed shut as he slowly counted backwards from ten. "Juudai?"

"Yes?" Juudai blinked, radiating with youthful naiveté.

"I'm giving you two seconds to get your ass ready before I kick you down the stairs again."

Juudai yiped and jumped to his feet, zooming out of the bathroom. "Yes, master Haou-sama!!"

It did no good. Haou was so angry that Juudai had 'tricked' him, he ran after him, and kicked him down the stairs. Juudai didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Not because he was angry, but because he was fucking unconscious. It was a wonder that a one-day coma and a slight concussion were all he had suffered.

* * *

**A/N: X.x If this is the first fic you've read by me, please read something serious I wrote. I cannot believe I just did that. Oh well. I like it anyway, though I hated to gloss over so much information so quickly. Perhaps I can add some flashbacks throughout the duration of the fic. At least it relieves my stress. D8 I promise to write another, longer chapter soon enough. And for those of you who like mpreg, sorryz. You can flame me. -.- I just hate it so much…And I hate all the "cuteness" associated with it. It is not cute. It's fucking disgusting. But…you can have your opinion and I can have mine. I don't blame you if you don't want to review. Don't if you don't wanna. XD I'll still update. Good reviews or bad it's gonna get updated. Mmk?**


	2. Chapter 2: Say WHAT?

**A/N: Wow, I got more response on this than I could even dream for. O.o Thanks you guys! XD And I've gone ahead and updated (not just cuz of the massive amount of reviews though. I felt like it lol) and I've made sure to put all the cliché goodness in this chapter (hopefully with my own little twist too.) Hope you can enjoy it! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Nor do I own most of these cliché ideas, haha!**

**Warnings: ****Makes fun of: OOCness, mpreg, canon misconceptions, etc. If you flame me I will laugh because you missed the point. And this chapter in particular contains several mistakes (done entirely on purpose). See if you can spot them. XD**

* * *

Chapter 2: Say WHAT?!

Juudai sighed for the millionth time that afternoon, kicking his legs violently as he waited in the infirmary. Haou sent him a warning glare as the other boy groaned, beginning to kick the leg of the chair as he swung his feet faster and faster. Finally, annoyed, he grabbed Juudai's legs and held them still, his golden eyes narrowed dangerously. Scowling, he leaned over and hissed in Juudai's ear.

"Stop that! You're behaving like a child…"

"But I AM a child--" Juudai whined.

"You are NOT. You are seventeen years old. Act your age!" Haou scolded.

"But I don't WANT to!" Juudai protested, beginning to swing his legs again.

Setting his mouth in a tight line, Haou watched him for a moment. Juudai had just defied him! This earned the brunet a sharp smack across the face. And this prompted another whining session.

Haou breathed deeply, letting it out slowly in a heavy, annoyed sigh. He stared up at the ceiling, clenching his fists and teeth and trying to ignore the boy beside him. It was difficult though, when he refused to stop complaining about his 'pregnancy.'

Disgusted, Haou whirled around and snapped, "You are NOT pregnant!!"

Juudai blinked, looking taken aback. "But…I am!"

"There has to be SOME other explanation for your sickness," Haou told him through his teeth, his eye twitching a bit, "No male can get pregnant! It's biologically impossible! I've been telling you for two weeks now…_there has to be some other explanation_. That's why we're here in the first place!"

Juudai scratched his head and looked puzzled. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah…I guess you're right." He paused a moment to think again, then asked, "Wait…if I'm not pregnant, then how come the test said--"

"I don't KNOW, Juudai, I just don't know…" Haou interrupted, clutching the sides of the seat, gritting his teeth. This whole situation was driving him insane. Not that he wasn't already. Still, he was pissed that anyone would play that sort of trick on them. By then he had come to realize, at least, that it was not Juudai who was lying to him. Someone else had planted that pregnancy test; he was sure of it! The only thing he had to do was figure out who…

"Hey, Haou? Haou? HaouHaouHaouHaouHaouHAOUHAOUHAOUHAOU!!" Juudai began shouting, trying to attract his attention as he poked the poor king in the arm mercilessly.

Having been rudely snapped from his thoughts, Haou glared at the brunet and hissed, "WHAT?!" He would have slapped him again had Ayukawa-sensei not walked into the room at that very moment, followed by ALL of Juudai's friends.

The brunet's face reddened. He hid a bit behind Haou, not ready to face the shame. Because the answer was apparent due to the shocked expression on Ayukawa-sensei's face. Shaking her head slowly, she approached Juudai holding her clipboard to her rather large chest--which Manjoume was discreetly ogling, by the way.

"Well," She sighed, closing her eyes, "this is rather…shocking. But…it should not be in the least due to your family history."

"Wh-What do you mean?" Juudai licked his lips nervously, his dark eyes darting from his friends to Ayukawa-sensei. Obviously, he knew what she was talking about by the way he twitched his eye and looked from his friends to her, trying to send the silent message that he did _not_ want the others to know.

"Hmm, I'm not sure how to put this but…" She paused dramatically, hanging her head. Everyone else did the same, as though it were some stage cue. "You're…" She paused again as dramatic music began to play in the background, as though it were a soap opera, "…pregnant."

Everyone but Ayukawa-sensei fell over. "WHAT?!" Was the unanimous question that could be heard from all across the nation of Japan.

Grinning sheepishly, she nodded. "Well, this is…er…uncomfortable to say the least. And I wish I could say you were the first male pregnant but…someone beat you to it."

Nodding miserably, Juudai replied, "I know."

"Yes," Ayukawa-sensei laughed nervously, a funny look coming to her face, "it would be rather strange if you didn't. After all…it was your brother…But…I guess he doesn't really count since he…is now a she…I suppose that sort of thing runs in the family."

Juudai groaned and held his head in his hands. How embarrassing! Now all his friends knew about his transvestite brother! Not to mention…he was freaking PREGNANT, for Ra's sake! That was just wrong…

"Wait!" Manjoume snorted, "I thought you were an only child! At least, that's what the FLASHBACKS indicated!" He pointed an accusing finger at Juudai. "YOU LIE!"  
"What flashbacks?" Juudai asked, looking puzzled.

"Oops, I mean…" Manjoume looked around at everyone who was staring at him, "Aw, just explain!"

Scratching his head again, Juudai sighed. "I suppose I have no choice. You see, I did have an older brother…he was older by five years but he didn't really look his age, but…that made no sense! Anyway, well, he wasn't exactly right in the head…We all loved him all the same. But that was before he came out of the closet…"

Everyone flashed back to a black-and-white screen that should have been in Juudai's mind. But since he had super powers that he had obtained from the Supreme King…er…Haou and from Yubel--even though that had not technically happened yet but who cares because this is fanfiction!--he was able to show his memories to those around him in the room.

* * *

_"Juudai…can I talk to you?"_

_A tall, muscular, handsome, extremely GORGEOUS boy walked into Juudai's room, flashing his trademark smile. Juudai sat up a little straighter on his bed and nodded, making room for the other boy._

_"What is it, aniki?" Juudai smiled widely, his brown eyes shining._

_Mizuki sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his shoulder length, beautiful brown locks. He tossed his head this way and that, causing them to cascade down and shine in the sunlight. He turned back towards Juudai, regarding him with a lovely, chocolate gaze._

_"Do you think I'm too perfect?"_

_Juudai gasped at this and dropped the cards he was holding. "No way! You're amazing! Why would anyone ever think you're too perfect?"_

_"Well, I was just thinking…it probably hurts a lot of people to see how much I excel at everything…and probably hurts the guys too, since all the girls are asking me out. And I probably make the teachers feel bad for correcting them when they mess up in class, and I probably make the other football players feel bad for making all the winning goals. And it just might be glorifying myself to get involved in so many charities and all…But then too, it probably makes people uncomfortable to think that I had cancer fourteen times when I was younger…And do you think it's weird that my eyes change color?" As he said this, his normally vibrant blue eyes flashed fuchsia._

_"Oh, no! Not at all!" Juudai insisted, "You're unique and special and everyone loves you!"_

_"Juudai," Mizuki sighed, taking both of his younger brother's hands and looking him straight in the eyes, "I think…I think I just might be…" He dropped his voice to a whisper, "A Mary Sue."_

_"NOOOOOO!!" Juudai screamed, tears coming to his eyes, "Say it ain't so!"_

_"I'm sorry," Mizuki sniffed, "But…it's true. And for that reason…since I cannot live up to being a Gary Stu due to my gentle nature…I must be gay to balance it out. And not just gay. That doesn't do anything but make the yaoi fangirls squeal over my Sueness even more. I have to get a sex-change operation, in order to be made complete. Then I can finally be with the man I love and not be hurt anymore by the fact that he's straight…and he will never know…"_

_"What, who is it that you love again?" Juudai asked, totally disregarding what the disturbing information Mizuki has just laid upon him._

_"Manjoume Chosaku!" He breathed, batting his long, girly eyelashes, "I'd give ANYTHING to go to bed with that!! In fact I--"_

"Ok, NOW I'm uncomfortable!" Manjoume shouted, breaking everyone from the trance. They all turned to stare at him.

"Y-Your brother and his brother…made a baby?!" Asuka asked, her mouth agape.

Manjoume looked grim as he replied dryly, "It would appear to be so…"

"B-But…" She sputtered, "Why--? How--?"

"Don't question it!" Fubuki interjected, outstretching his arms and grinning widely, "Just accept their LOVE. Logic doesn't matter when you're in LOVE."

Asuka wrinkled her nose. "Ummm…" She pushed past Fubuki and stood in front of Juudai, crossing her arms. Then, she grinned widely. "This is so great! Finally, you and Johan got pregnant! Congrats!" She held out her hand to him.

Juudai stared at her hand as though it was an alien. Johan made a noise of protest and rushed over to where they were standing, having finally shaken himself of the shock.

"I'm not the father!" He wailed, looking distressed.

Juudai buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Asuka…why?"

"He's NOT?!" Everyone shouted in unison. They had always suspected that Johan and Juudai had been getting friendly in-between the sheets so it came as a shock to them.

"But, but…" Asuka stammered, "Didn't you and he do the deed? You know, the goat and the tree? The suspension bridge? The--"

"No!" Both Johan and Juudai interrupted at once, staring at her with bright red faces. Johan knew what those terms meant because he was a sex god! Juudai knew because Haou had done those things to him…

Looking smug, Fubuki stepped up and held his hand out to Asuka. She glared at his hand and started to turn away. He grabbed her shoulder, jerking her around to face him again and pointed to his hand demandingly.

"Tsk, tsk," He chided, grinning impishly, "You're forgetting our bet!"

"Fine," Asuka grumbled, reaching in her pocket and producing a thick wad of bills. She slapped it in his hand and turned around, her arms crossed tightly over her chest--which Manjoume was indiscreetly ogling, by the way.

"Wait…what did you bet on?" Johan asked, looking puzzled.

"Who was going to bang Juudai up," Fubuki replied, gleefully counting his money before pocketing it.

Everyone except Fubuki fell over. "WHAT?!"

"Hey," He said, shrugging, "I _told_ Asuka that you and Juudai were too clueless to get your game on with each OTHER. I _told_ her someone else would have to do it. And I was right!" He laughed good-naturedly, "The Love-Meister always knows BEST."

"Wait so…you knew then who was going to bang Juudai up," Johan said, narrowing his eyes a bit and looking suspicious.

"Well, DUH!" Fubuki laughed again, "It was just so obvious! You see, I followed him around making _careful_ observations and recorded what I saw. And…well, I noticed that sometimes his eyes would turn yellow and he would start taking his clothes off and then touching himself furiously before he--"

"SILENCE!" Haou barked, his cheeks burning.

Everyone stared at him.

Smirking, Fubuki put a finger to his chin and continued. "And that's when I began to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I started to wonder if perhaps Juudai had a Yami too! And you know how all the Yami-Hikari pairs turned out…"

Everyone groaned simultaneously at the thought of Yuugi, Ryou, and Malik getting pregnant by their Yamis. All of which had abandoned them.

"And it seems as though my theory was correct!" Fubuki finished cheerily.

"But…how did you know I was going to get pregnant anyway?" Juudai asked, his cheeks flaming.

Fubuki gave a hearty laugh. "Why that, my boy, was OBVIOUS from the get-go! You're just _oozing_ with girly vibes! Everyone knew it was going to happen sooner or later. And, since the entire school is practically itching to get in your pants, I knew it was only sooner or later before you chose someone. And, of course, it only made sense that you'd be most comfortable fucking your Yami, a.k.a. yourself!"

"Um, isn't that basically the same thing as masturbating?" Manjoume asked, glaring and looking scornful.

Asuka smacked him, sending him the Look.

"What?! I'm just saying!" Manjoume protested.

"Um…" Ayukawa-sensei coughed uncomfortably as she hugged the clipboard closer to her chest, "Perhaps…we should just leave Haou and Juudai alone to think about this information for awhile…"

"No!" Johan interjected, "I won't leave until I've talked to Juudai about this!"

"Why?" Asked a small voice.

Everyone turned to glance at Sho, who had spoken up for the first time. He had just recovered his shock.

"Because!" Johan replied, then, after a moment's thought, "Don't you know?"

"All I know is that all of you people better get away from my Juudai-sama!" Rei snapped, balling her fists and looking vicious.

"He's not yours!" Haou growled, red streaking across his nose.

Everyone turned their attention back to Haou. He stopped, noticing everyone was staring at him. Fubuki was smiling mischievously. Asuka was glaring. Rei was mouthing death threats. Sho looked like he would faint. Johan was sending him a cold gaze. Ayukawa-sensei was trying to smile, but she looked too nervous. Jim, O'Brien, and Kenzan meanwhile stood in a corner, whispering and glancing over at him. The entire time, they had not participated in the group conversation with Juudai. Probably because they were trying to solve the mystery of male pregnancy. Misawa…uh…was not there because he had run off again to study science. And Amon? Who cared about Amon? He just wasn't there, Ok?!

Grimacing, Haou stood and walked slowly over towards Johan, leaning in his face until their noses touched. The European gulped and smiled weakly, though it faltered. Narrowing his eyes, Haou sent the boy a look that would have frozen hell over ten times. As it was, he practically made Johan melt into a puddle of fear on the floor. The room was filled with tension; no one moved or spoke as Haou slowly reached out and seized Johan by the front of his frilly dress shirt, clutching the fabric tightly in his fist.

Quietly, firmly, Haou told him, "I know what you aim to do. And I just wanted you to know…" He paused, his eyes glowing slightly as he leaned in and dropped his voice dangerously low, "…that you can go ahead and do what you want. Go ahead and see what I'll do about it. But…just remember: _I know where you live_."

Johan laughed nervously and tried to brush Haou away. However, it looked almost like he might start beating the pulp out of the teal-haired duelist right then and there. Thankfully for Johan, Juudai stood and squeezed himself between the two.

"Ok, you guys, stop it!" Juudai pushed Haou back behind him, sighing heavily. "Look, Johan, I'm really sorry. I know you--actually all of you--have been wondering why I've been so down? Well, I guess it's time I spilled then…I'm sorry I kept it from you but…I was too embarrassed." He glanced over at Haou, his cheeks burning. Haou sent him a warning glare but he continued anyway. "It's just that…Haou forced me to marry him so…I haven't exactly been the happiest lately. Sorry."

There was a shocked silence. Everyone looked at each other. Then, they all started talking at once. Juudai grinned weakly as his friends laughed, cried, argued, and screamed in horror. He was not smiling anymore, though, when Haou laid a hand on his shoulder, his grip tighter than a vise.

"Great job," He said sarcastically, "I TOLD you not to tell!" His face turned red.

"Why?" Juudai asked, smirking a bit, "Because it would embarrass _you_? Oh, yes, the great HAOU-SAMA is queerer than a three dollar bill?"

"WATCH YOURSELF!!" Haou snapped, nearly losing his temper. He started to pick up a chair to hurl at Juudai's thick skull.

Ayukawa-sensei cleared her throat rather loudly. Everyone quieted down and looked at her. "You know," She pointed out dryly, "Juudai _is_ carrying _your_ child. You might want to be careful with him."

"I don't care!" Haou growled, his eyes flashing, his upper lip curled in a menacing snarl, "I did not want a child anyway!"

"Well, you're going to have to learn to, er, cope with it…" Ayukawa-sensei told him, laughing nervously. She placed the clipboard down on the desk and told them, "I'll be right back. I have…some, er, things to take care of." Having said that, she unwisely hurried out of the room.

The teens all looked at each other for a few moments in silence. It was apparent that they were not going to be leaving. Sighing heavily, Haou turned his deathly gaze upon then, his eyes glowing unnaturally. He did not like all those people crowded around him. He HATED people. Was it really so much to ask to want to be left alone with Juudai for FIVE minutes? They had a lot of things to talk about. And it was not going to get accomplished with so many, ahem, _witnesses_ present. All right, so maybe he was not going to use _words_ exactly, but, hey, as long as the point was gotten across!

Clearing his throat and doing his best to look vicious--which really was not that hard since he usually gave off those vibes and since he was seriously pissed at the moment--he stood up on a chair so he could address the large crowd. "All right, peasants!" He barked, his scowl deepening as he pointed towards the door, "Everyone OUT!!" He dropped his voice to a hiss then as he finished, "Juudai and I need to have a little, shall we say, talk?"

Everyone stared up at Haou. They all opened their mouths to protest at once. However, he was not going to stand for it. He whipped a sword out of nowhere and waved it at them, demanding that they leave. At first, they were stubborn. Until he began to charge towards them. That was when they scurried for the door. Unfortunately, they all got stuck in the doorway.

"Ow!! Let go of my foot!"

"I don't have your foot!"

"EWW, Manjoume, your armpit smells AWFUL!"

"Help! You're crushing me!"

"FUBUKI STOP MOLESTING ME!"

"I like big butts and I can't lie--!"

"THAT'S IT!!" Haou stormed towards the crowd in the doorway and started kicking, trying to force them through the far too small opening. He did not care who he was kicking or _where_ he was kicking; he just wanted them out of there! Ignoring their cries of pain and Juudai's protests, he managed to force them through the doorway, though it bent a little. Satisfied, he slammed the door shut…right on Johan's foot.

Haou cursed at this. Even though it was obviously painful to the Gem Beast duelist, he was not going to give Juudai up so easily! He struggled, pushing and shoving against the door until he finally managed to squeeze through, despite Haou's large effort to hold him back. The two boys glared at each other; it looked as though a cat fight was about to break out. Perhaps Haou would have lunged at him had Juudai not stepped in the way, outstretching his arms.

"Not yet!" He wailed, "Don't hurt my Jo-kun!"

Haou wrinkled his nose. "Is THAT what you call him? _Why_?!"

"Because…Well, it just fits, Ok! Fanfiction says so and so does the entire yaoi fandom so shuddup!" Juudai insisted, "Besides, before _you_ came along, Johan was my kawaii angel!"

"And what made you suddenly revert to fangirl Wapanese?" Haou sneered, glaring at the two.

"Whenever I'm with beautiful Jo-kun I just can't help it!" Juudai giggled.

"Ok, this is disgusting," Haou grumbled, crossing his arms, "Say what you must then be gone, vermin!" This last statement was, of course, directed at none other than Johan.

"Ok," Johan said. Then, he turned to Juudai. And as though by magic…his entire demeanor changed! His face crumpled a bit, his eyes shimmering with bright tears, so that they looked like the stars in the sky! Seizing Juudai's hands, he wept on them, covering them with kisses. "My darlingest Juu-chan! How could you have forgotten our love? How could you have abandoned me and betrayed me, to carry _his_ child instead of mine? I'm so sorry…I wasn't there for you…to save you." He choked back a dramatic sob, which Juudai echoed. The two started wailing in unison, lamenting their 'lost love.'

Haou stared at them, convinced they were joking, as Johan continued. "But…" He paused for added effect, as his eyes gleamed with newfound anger, "I will avenge you!"

Groaning inwardly, Haou stepped between the two, pushing them apart. "Enough of this nonsense! Juudai, stop behaving like a little girl! Johan, stop being a drama queen! You two ought to be _ashamed_ of yourselves, acting like preteen girls! Now, you've had your time to get it out, so you should _leave_." The last word was spat. No, it really was. A bit of salvia fell on Johan's nose.

Johan opened his mouth to protest. Juudai opened _his_ mouth to protest. Haou opened something too, but it wasn't his mouth. It was the window. Picking Johan up, he growled something that Juudai couldn't hear under his breath, then threw the European out. He proceeded to close the window and lock it, pulling down the blinds. Juudai stared on, his jaw dropped and his eyes wide as saucers.

"Please tell me you did not--"

"He's fine," Haou grumbled bitterly, flopping down in a seat and looking cranky. "Now…" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before bellowing, "STOP RUNNING AROUND ON ME WITH HIM!!"

"I'm sorry!" Juudai wailed, dropping to his knees and bowing before the Supreme King, his forehead touching the ground, "I'm really sorry! I won't do it again! I'll do my homework! I'll clean my room! I'll lick your feet clean every night--!"

"UGH!" Haou's features twisted in disgust, "And get off the floor! Have you no shame?"

"I'm sorry," Juudai whimpered again, beginning to rock back and forth and curling up in a fetal position, "I never meant to anger your majesty…And…I'll try to be more careful. It's just I get weird whenever he comes around…"

"Almost like you turn into another person completely!" Haou snorted. Then, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he muttered to himself, "There's something about that Andersen kid that's just not quite right…"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Hearing Juudai scream this, Haou directed his gaze back over at the brunet, who was currently spinning in the middle of the floor like there was some sort of epileptic breakdance contest going on. And he was winning. Haou frowned and kicked Juudai…most unfortunately, in the stomach.

"What is your PROBLEM?!"

Juudai grunted and curled up a little tighter. Tears of pain sprang to the corners of his eyes as he choked, "I just realized I let him call me Juu-chan! I'm not a girl!"

"Well, let's see," Haou said sarcastically "You sure don't act like one. And you sure as hell don't look like one. And, oh, that's right! It's not like you're _pregnant_ or anything." He gave the brunet a pointed look.

Juudai only groaned. "Please don't get like--"

"DAMMIT!" Frustrated with the entire situation, Haou kicked him again, once more, in the stomach.

Juudai hunched up in a tighter ball and whimpered. Haou frowned down at him and opened his mouth to snap that Juudai get up. The poor shivering brunet knew what was coming, and slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position at least, his arms wrapped protectively over his stomach. He stared up at Haou with teary eyes, his mouth turned sharply downwards.

"Why do you have to be so mean?" He whined, hugging himself tighter, "Can't you be nice to me for _one day_?"

Haou grunted in response.

Groaning, Juudai picked himself off the floor, though he moved very slowly as he did so. He looked up at Haou with pleading eyes. In response, Haou glared at him. At first, Juudai began to shrink back but, as everyone knows, he could not stay intimidated for too long before he stood up for himself. Frowning as well, he boldly stepped closer to the older boy and stopped with his nose pressed against Haou's. The two boys stared each other down for several moments, their glares intensifying, pressing their lips into tighter lines, mouths sharply turned down in a ridiculous looking scowl. Finally, Haou's eyes glowed brightly and a burst of dark energy shot forth from within him, sending Juudai flying back and landing on his tiny, cute butt.

"OWIE!" Juudai wailed. That area was growing very tender due to the fact that Haou liked to have rough sex with it every other night. He would have done it every night had Juudai not been in so much pain and had he not been so cranky.

Haou smirked in satisfaction and began to walk out. Angrily, Juudai reached out and grabbed the hem of his pants, meaning to pull him down. Instead…

Juudai's face turned red. Oh, he had tripped Haou all right. But he had gotten more than he had bargained for. _He also was stuck holding the Supreme King's pants._ Haou shot him the most evil look. But it wasn't intimidating. Why? Because that was the day that Juudai found out that the king of Dark World did not wear underwear.

"Holy Ra!" Juudai shouted, his face burning.

Haou's face turned bright red as well. "GIVE ME THOSE!!" He barked, his face turning the shade of Juudai's Osiris jacket. He lunged and seized them, but Juudai refused to relinquish them.

"No!"

"Why won't you give me my damn pants back?!" Haou demanded to know, beginning to tremble in rage. Oh, Juudai was going to _get it_ when they got back to the castle that afternoon. Pregnant or not, Haou was going to give him the _scourging_ of his life!

Juudai's clever mind worked fast. His eyes shifted from one end of the room to the other as a wolfish grin spread across his normally soft and innocent features. "I'll give them back if you make a deal with me. Otherwise, you can walk out of here with your balls hanging out." His eyes narrowed as his smirk widened.

Haou stared at him in disbelief. The very NERVE of him! Well, he could have easily beaten Juudai until he got them back but…he wanted to hear what was so important that Juudai would blackmail him to get it. "What do you want?" He leaned over Juudai, giving him the evil eye.

Breaking out into a nervous sweat, Juudai scooted back a ways and laughed weakly, licking his lips in anxiety. Then, he smirked again, waving his prize triumphantly in the air. Haou's eyes followed the pants almost desperately. Every second that Juudai dragged this out was another second that someone could walk in and see his naked butt crack.

"I'll give them back on _one_ condition," Juudai promised, raising a finger in the air, his dark eyes gleaming, "If you promise to stop beating me all the time. I'm carrying _your_ heir, ya know. You wouldn't want it getting hurt, now, would you?"

"I could care less about that Radamn child!" Haou scoffed, his glare intensifying. Truth be told, having an heir made him nervous. It was competition! And he did _not_ plan on dying anytime soon! In all honesty, there was a tradition in his family and in Dark World that was centuries old. The way that a monarch was decided was if he was skilled enough to _kill_ his father, a.k.a. the king. And there was _no_ fucking way he was going to be a victim of any sort! He would kill the child first…

"Well, then," Juudai said, thinking quickly, "how about this? If you hurt me while I'm pregnant, then that makes it more likely that I'll die in miscarriage. And you wouldn't want _that_ to happen, would you? After all, then you wouldn't have anyone to rape or beat or listen to you complain! And not just _anyone_ will be able to satisfy you with those things like _I_ can."

Ohhhhhhh he had Haou cornered now! He knew Haou _very_ well. And he knew Haou could not _stand_ to hurt just anyone. Being the sadistic monster he was, he had to hurt the one he loved. And whether it was believable or not, he really _did_ love Juudai. The same could not be said for Juudai concerning Haou. He had been forced into it, after all! But he could not hate Haou either. He was his Yami, for Ra's sake! He _had_ to like him and tolerate him to _some_ degree!

Haou pondered this good and hard for several long, suffocating seconds. His piercing eyes never left Juudai's, his lips pressing together so tightly they turned white. A vein popped out in his forehead and his face turned bright red again. Heaving an exasperated sigh, he finally nodded. "FINE!!" He snapped, snatching at his pants.

Smirking again, Juudai waved them out of his reach. "Pinky promise."

"How _childish_."

"Do it," Juudai insisted, holding out his pinky and looking very serious.

"FINE."

Grumbling, Haou hooked his pinky with Juudai's, which satisfied the brunet. Smiling brightly, he held the pants out to Haou. "Here ya go, sweetie!" He teased.

Just as Haou had grabbed them, the door swung open. "Oh, Juudai! I have something special for you--HOLY OBELISK THE TORMENTOR!! WHAT IN RA'S NAME ARE YOU TWO _DOING_?!" Ayukawa-sensei stood in the doorway, her mouth hanging open from shock at seeing Haou pantless leaning over Juudai, who was lying sprawled out on the floor with his legs apart. "NOT IN HERE, YOUNG MEN!!"

Haou's face turned _redder_ than the Osiris jacket. His gaze shifted towards Juudai, who laughed weakly and held up two fingers. "Juudai?"

"Yes?" Juudai blinked.

"When we get home…I'm painting the walls."

"Really? What color? Is it for the baby's room?" He asked cluelessly.

Haou shook his head slowly as he advanced towards the brunet, a sick, twisted smile spreading across his features. He laughed maniacally. "I'm painting them red…"

"Um…why?" Juudai edged away from him.

Haou ignored the question and continued. "With your blood."

Juudai hurled Haou's pants at him, causing them to land on his head, and jumped out the window. It was better than facing a sadistic, genocidal freak at the height of his sick insanity. Haou just laughed as he watched Juudai fall in the bushes, faceplanting in Johan's butt.

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**A/N: Sorry if it wasn't that funny but…I tried. -.-; Next chapter…there will be more insanity and at some point…a secret about Johan will be revealed. Mwahahaha!**


	3. Chap3 How Many Ways Can You Spell Crazy?

**A/N: Um, I'm really bored…that's why I'm writing this…so bored. BAW. Sorry for the delay but my comp had a virus but it's fixed now. DX**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX.**

* * *

Chapter 3: How Many Ways Can You Spell Crazy?

Juudai shifted in his seat, sinking lower under the harsh gaze of his parents. Haou shifted as well, uncomfortable despite himself. This was not exactly the easiest thing to face. After all, he had just gotten his counterpart…pregnant. And they were both male. And Juudai's parents already had to deal with their son, er, daughter. Who was a Mary Sue. This was not going to be a good day.

The silence reigned for several more moments as Juudai's father glared all the more. His gaze shifted towards Haou, then back to Juudai, before resting on Haou again. A large sigh was heaved.

"Son…" It sounded a bit exasperated and…a bit threatening.

Haou stiffened. Already, he was ready for any attack that these two numbskulls might throw at him or Juudai. No, he would _not_ let them so much as lay a finger on Juudai! He might have been an ass to the brunet, but…he was possessive. And in his eyes, pain _was_ love. And only _he _was allowed to "love" Juudai! Hmm…he probably got that one from Yubel, who, of course, was his ex-lover. Why ex? Because she's not pretty like Juudai, duh! What's that about canon? Shuddup! Stop ruining the fourth wall! FANFICTION DUH.

Ummm…anyway…back to the subject at hand…

The other reason that Haou did _not_ want these beastlings to touch his darling Juu Juu-chan was because Juu-chan was _his_. Only _he_, the Supreme King, the ruler of darkness, the dictator over all life and death and humanity and smexyness, could touch the lovely Juu-chan! No one, and he meant NO ONE—especially not Johan! GRRRR!—could touch such a wonderful, darling, perfect, beautiful ANGEL.

A low growl was heard from Haou's part. Everyone turned their attention to him. Juudai edged away from him, swallowing nervously, his dark eyes darting about the room, searching for escape. Haou was getting _that _look on his face again. The look that meant everyone around him was about to suffer.

Mr. Yuuki coughed loudly, seemingly to clear his throat. He glanced from his wife to Juudai, then finally spoke again. All the while, he avoided Haou's piercing amber gaze. "I do not like this." He announced in a loud, manly voice. Obviously, he had figured out who the alpha male was and he was trying to flaunt his "superior" masculinity in hopes of dominating the great Haou-sama. No such luck.

Haou was not a fool like Juudai. He caught on immediately. His head snapped up, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits as he spat, "It does not concern me how _you_ feel about this situation. The world does not revolve around _you_. It was here before you came along, and it shall not cease to exist along with _you_. I have been around ever since the beginning of the—"

"Haou, that's enough!" Juudai protested, wringing his hands and looking anxious. Oh, if there was _one_ thing he did not need now, it was the fight that was about to break out between his father and husband. After all, they were exuding tension to the highest degree. He could almost even _smell_ it! Oh, wait…he did…coming from his dad's direction…

The king turned slowly, his upper lip curled in an unsightly snarl. "_What?!_" He stood, towering above Juudai, reaching out slowly, seizing him by the throat, ready to strangle the poor brunet. "Are you telling me what to do?! _Are you daring to defy me?!_"

Juudai swallowed hard, though it was difficult because Haou's grip was so terribly tight. He stared up at the other boy, his face beginning to turn blue due to lack of oxygen. Haou's grip was so strong, it was squeezing every bit of air out of him. It killed. _"Haou!"_ He thought to his Yami desperately, _"I can't breathe!"_

"That's the point, baka!" Haou snapped, causing Juudai's parents to give him strange looks. And he continued on, ignoring them all.

That was, until Samejima walked back into the room. He glanced at everyone, then sighed and took his seat behind his desk. "Oh, dear, Ra…I shall be needing more ibuprofen."

By that point, Juudai was making loud choking and gagging noises, as Haou's shaking grip around his poor, abused trachea tightened. The pitiful Osiris student gave him an imploring gaze, with the largest, shiniest chocolate puppy dog eyes one can imagine. "Ha…ou….sa…ma…"

No one could really understand what he had said…except Haou. Most people would have thought that such a heartless bastard would have kept choking the poor boy. But remember, Haou _did_ love Juudai. Even if it was not all that much.

Grumbling something about being weak to have shown mercy to such a truly pathetic and undeserving creature, Haou released Juudai's neck, and took his place beside him again. Juudai gasped for breath, his hands around his own neck, as though it would fail him and his head would fall off. Haou ignored his wheezes and coughs, instead choosing to direct his attention back towards Samejima.

"What does an old fool like you want with me?" Haou sneered, crossing his arms and looking disagreeable. He did _not_ want to deal with these people. How _dare_ they try to decide something for him! He was perfectly capable of it himself! After all, he was _eons_ old! But, no, they still treated him as though he were a mere infant. Disgusting, these people were!

Of course, he probably would have gotten a little more respect had his behavior not been so infantile.

Samejima looked up at Haou, a bit surprised at how rudely he had been addressed. Juudai looked a bit surprised too. He started to open his mouth, only to have Haou slap him sharply across the face.

"Do not speak unless spoken too!" Haou shouted, glaring. "Don't make me choke you again…or rape you!"

Juudai quivered, slinking back away from the other. "Y-Yes, Haou-sama."

"That's what I thought!"

"Um…" Samejima said uncomfortably, clasping his hands on his polished desktop, "I…would like to address the problem of continuing Juudai's education when he, er, starts to _show_. It would probably be best for all of us if he were to drop out of school until next year."

"WHAT?!" Juudai and Haou shouted in unison.

"I don't think we're going to do that," Mr. Yuuki interjected sternly, scowling. Juudai sank lower in his seat under the combined pressure from his father and Haou. "It's his fault that everything's the way it is. HE was the one who chose to have _sex_ and he was the one who chose to do it while in school. He should suffer the consequences! No, he will complete his assignments _online_ if he has to! And if he gets teased, then by Obelisk, he deserves it!"

Looking nervous, Samejima laughed a bit and wiped the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief, namely, _Chronos'_ handkerchief. "Well, I…I see…In that case…if that's your decision—"

"NO!" Haou shouted, causing all parties to jump, "It is not up to you to choose for us!" He stood slowly, and crossed over in front of Juudai, causing the brunet's eyes to follow him warily. Smirking slyly, he circled around behind Juudai's chair and leaned over the other's shoulder, his slitted gaze boring holes in Juudai's head. Placing his hands on each of Juudai's shoulders, he hissed, almost mockingly, "It's all up to you to decide what you want to do…"

Juudai swallowed hard. This was most certainly not good! It had to be a trap…If he replied incorrectly, then he would receive a scourging and be sent to bed with nothing but stale bread and water to eat for dinner! Oh, how he _hated_ it when Haou lost sleep due to something he was worried about! It always made him act doubly insane. More so than he already was.

"Um…I don't know…" Juudai answered, nibbling on his lower lip apprehensively, "Why don't you decide for me? You…you know better than me…" Yes, just tell the douche what he wanted to hear…Then maybe he would leave him alone!

"Oh, no," Haou pressed on, his sickeningly sweet words laced with the most noxious of venom, "I insist, Juudai."

"Well, I, uh…I guess I'll just…stay here," Juudai said weakly. There wasn't much he could do about it anyway. Haou would have forced him to go to school even if he were bleeding to death, with his intestines spilling out of his nostrils and his brains leaking out of his ears.

Haou stroked his hair, almost as one would to a pet. "That's right, Juudai, you don't _need_ to be living with _them._" He looked down his nose at Juudai's parents, practically purring his words.

Juudai finally could take it no longer. "Um, why are you acting so—"

"So what?!" Haou bristled, his eyes returning the same icy amber they always were. "WHAT?!"

"N-nothing…" Juudai muttered, his eyes huge. Why was Haou acting so crazy? Was he having mood swings too? Oh right…they _were _the same person. This was going to be delightful. Now Haou was 893,457,387,456,431,917,578,345,647,325 times more fucked up than he already was. He could only imagine what more would be in store for him as the days went on. Oh, joy…

And, judging by the way Haou was all in his face with his hands drifting slowly farther south, he was not only feeling strange mood swings. He was horny too. There was nothing worse than a PMS-ing Haou-sama. Granted, PMS **(1)** in this case meant something far different…

"A-HEM!" Mr. Yuuki coughed loudly as Haou was just about to push it too far.

Both Haou and Juudai jumped. Haou scowled again, refusing to remove his hands from the trembling Juudai's being. "And what, exactly, may I ask, is your problem, _sir_?" He gave Mr. Yuuki a dirty look.

"You have your hands all over my son! How do you think I'm going to feel—"

"Look," Haou spat, pointing a finger at him, "I can do whatever I please. And if you have a problem with that, you can take it up with my sword. Do we have an understanding?"

Mr. Yuuki sat still for a moment. Then, his face turned beet red. He rose from his seat, practically beating his chest like an enraged gorilla. "I HAVE A RIGHT TO COMMAND MY SON AND MY SON'S DARK SIDE TO—"

"Honey!" His wife put a hand on his arm, laughing nervously, "Let's calm down, all right? I know it's difficult but…we're a family whether we like it or not. And we have to learn to accept each other for who we are, and to get along."

"So that's where you get that B.S." Haou grumbled to Juudai, sinking back into his chair and sighing heavily. This really was _not_ his day.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT MY SON GOING RUNNING OFF AND SPREADING HIS LEGS FOR SOME LUNATIC THAT—"

"Dear, please," Mrs. Yuuki begged, growing desperate, "None of that…Let's just try to make this as pleasant as the situation will allow. Now, I know, things have been rough lately already…with…our other…child. But, just because our sons can have babies does not make them bad. It just makes them different! And different is good. And, we don't really get to see Juudai as much as we would like so…why don't we spend the afternoon with him, hm? We have to go to that family reunion anyway, and I just think it would be a good time for us to just, you know, _bond_ a little as a _family_."

Everyone groaned a little inwardly at hearing this. Everyone but Haou. Haou vocalized his displeasure. And it was not done lightly, either.

"What?! I _refuse_ to accept this, this barbaric display of psychological—"

Juudai carefully placed a hand over his mouth, knowing good and well he would suffer for his brash actions later. "Calm down, Haou-sama," He groaned, "Let's just do it…and get it over with. Please…We really are all stuck together so…let's at least _try_ to understand each other, Ok?"

Haou grumbled something about killing Juudai as he crossed his arms over his chest. Truthfully, he looked like a sulking child. Juudai sighed heavily and patted him on the shoulder, causing Haou to direct his hateful, kitten killing glare in Juudai's direction. "Don't…touch…me…" He seethed through his teeth.

"Well," Mrs. Yuuki said nervously, wringing her hands, "I…I think we should be going. I guess it's decided…As long as everything can be worked out."

"Well, yes, it can be but it won't be easy on Juudai's grade nor his—" Samejima stopped in mid-sentence when he noticed Haou's attention on him. Swallowing hard, he quickly changed what he had been going to say. "I-I-I mean, of course it won't be a problem at all! We'll make sure that everything goes by smoothly. Now, if you would be kind enough, I have porn to—I mean, I have teachers to keep in line!" His entire face was red down to his neck, matching his blazer, as he stood to leave the room.

Juudai wondered if he had high blood pressure, and if he was going to have a heart attack. He started to ask Haou, only to be smacked sharply across the face.

"Um…" Mrs. Yuuki licked her lips as she started to lead her husband out, "I suppose that we should probably be going now. Come along, Juudai. We have to spend some quality time together this afternoon."

Despite what he had said earlier, Juudai groaned. Spending a free afternoon with his parents wasn't too bad considering but…not in the moods they were in! Not to mention…He snuck a peek at Haou, who gave him a menacing snarl. He had to spend his afternoon with his disappointed parents _and _a horny/crankyHaou, all of which were quarrelling. Oh, his life was just _so_ joyful!

* * *

Haou leaned his forehead against the cold glass of the car window, staring out at the road down below them, sighing every then and again. It was obvious that he was doing it in order to retain the last bit of sanity he possessed. He was trying not to explode at any of them. Why? Who knew? Perhaps he was trying to turn over a new leaf. Or… maybe he just had a better plan for things.

In the very least, he was not pestering Juudai nor was Juudai pestering him. In fact, they were ignoring each other. But that didn't exactly mean things were all fine and good. Actually, Juudai didn't want to be ignored by his Yami for once. He wasn't exactly feeling well, and sometimes Haou could come in handy with comforting him, strangely enough. And his parents were not helping either. Rather, they had been firing embarrassing questions at him earlier…but that was nothing compared to the discomfort of the moment. They were ignoring him. The car was filled with silence.

Juudai broke out into a cold sweat. He could not tolerate such oppressive silence! The thing was, he had this OCD where he _had_ to have something going on at all times…even if it was just in his mind. But that was only when he was alone. When he was with somebody, then there had to be some sort of communication going on. This whole cold shoulder thing baffled him. It nearly caused his tiny pea brain to work itself to death! Already, he could hear it short-circuiting from the lack of interaction…

That was when it clicked. He, being the logical thinker he was, decided that if there was no interaction to be found—due to a sort of verbal spontaneous combustion or anything of the sort—then he would have to ignite it himself! He thought hard for a moment of something, anything, that he could say. That was when it dawned on him. What better way to say something than to _sing_ it? Now…to find the perfect song…

Haou raised his head a bit at the sound of soft humming coming from Juudai's direction. He waved it off as a mild irritant and let his forehead hit the window again, inwardly wondering when the whole ordeal would be over. He felt as though he were being carried off to one of his torture camps. Oh, how he _hated_ Juudai's family!

He was rudely interrupted from his thoughts by Juudai, who bellowed the following _obnoxious_ song that he had picked up from Fubuki.

"NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER, TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!!!" He shouted suddenly at the top of his lungs.

Haou plugged his ears and cringed visibly. It was not that Juudai was a bad singer. It was just that the song was annoying as hell, and Juudai was not even bothering to at least _try_ to control the volume of his voice, or the vigorous enthusiasm that emphasized every single word to sound like the longest motivational lecture of his life. Surely, that annoyingly catchy tune would be traipsing through Haou's head for the rest of the day.

Haou's reaction, though, was not nearly as life-threatening as Mr. Yuuki's. Yet. Mr. Yuuki jumped right out of his skin, and halfway to Tennessee. Letting out a loud stream of profanity as he tried to steer the car back into the correct lane of the road—from the cliff side he was currently driving on, after having flown straight over the guardrail—Mr. Yuuki attempted to drown out Juudai's singing long enough to tell him to stop. It was to no avail.

"NINETY-SEVEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, NINETY-SEVEN BOTTLES OF BEER, TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, NINETY-SIX BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!!!" Juudai continued loudly, oblivious to the cries of aural pain from those around him.

Haou, being one to have little patience in anything at all and being one easily irritated by noise, tried to get his attention. It was no use. Juudai was really getting into his song, and nothing was going to stop him. Not even Haou's attempts to smack him! Juudai had his eyes closed and was by then swaying back and forth and up and down in a most unpredictable way. And it just so happened that _every_ time that Haou swung in his direction, he managed to avoid the blow due to his undulation. Well, talk about lucky. Either that or he _knew_ when Haou was going to hit him. It was not very hard to tell when that would happen since he and Juudai _were_ the same person. Not to mention Juudai had been enduring Haou's violence for quite some time then. All the same, it frustrated everyone in the car. Everyone except Juudai, who continued to yell-sing his lungs out for the entire two hour duration of the trip.

Or, at least, that was the first part of the trip. After two hours of "Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall," Mr. Yuuki finally decided it was time for a little stop at a gas station so they could stretch their legs. Everyone—except Juudai of course, since he _was_ so retarded and stupid and foolish in every way possible—knew that the true intent of the stop was so that the massive disturber of all things quiet and lovely would be distracted and stop the horrible offense to the general public. After all, Juudai was distracted very easily by anything talking, walking, moving, or breathing. Actually, just so long as something was warm and alive/conscious—or maybe not since Juudai had spent three days talking to an old man in a coma at the hospital—he would talk to it. It either had to be alive or edible. Or shiny. Juudai liked shiny things. Cards were shiny. Duel disks were shiny. Duel spirits were shiny. And Haou's eyes were shiny. He really liked Haou's eyes. For reasons that Haou could not even discern.

Anyway…

They pulled into the gas station just as Juudai was starting on the same loathsome tune for the fifteenth time in a row. And it was the extra-speedy version, too. Everyone was relieved, to say the least, to take a break for some Kit-Kat bars and to stretch their legs. And mostly to get away from Juudai. Of course, being the ever-hungry, curious, friendly beastie he was, Juudai wanted in on the action too.

"Hey!" He shouted, causing all parties to stop in their tracks and visibly flinch, "Where are you guys going? Is it fun? Are we getting food? Can I have some? What kind? Hey, hey, what time is it? How much longer? Where are we going anyway? Is Auntie going to be there? Why are you guys ignoring me? Why are you walking away? Hey! Do you hate me? Mom…Moooooom….MOM?! Haou-sama? Hellooooooo? HAOU-SAMA!!!"

Haou, who had been walking at some distance, stopped, and began to quake in anger. It wasn't longer before he finally snapped. "WHAT?!" He whirled around to face Juudai, his eyes gleaming.

Juudai sank down in his seat, looking sheepish. "I just wanted someone to stay and talk to me." He said weakly, grinning despite himself. His mouth twitched as Haou's scowl deepened.

The king heaved a heavy sigh. Glancing around and noticing that Mr. and Mrs. Yuuki had since taken off, he reluctantly got back in the car and looked at Juudai. He didn't really even know why he was bothering. Maybe he just didn't want Juudai to hate him completely. After all, he had been a _horrible_ lover to him, having forced him into everything and then banging him up and all. "What…do you…want?" He said through his teeth. His eye twitched.

"You don't like me very much, do you?" Juudai asked softly, sinking lower in his seat. Whereas only moments before he had been hyper and smiling, now his expression was melancholy. It almost made Haou feel…bad.

Wait. The Supreme King was feeling…_remorse_? That was just not right… "Juudai," He grumbled, shifting uncomfortably. He felt as though he were walking right into a trap…Juudai seemed to be at the edge of a hideous mood swing.

"Do you hate me or not?" Juudai whined, his face crumpling.

Dear Ra, the boy must've been hungry. Sometimes, when Juudai had not been fed, he got kind of…crazy like that. Especially since he was pregnant…Damn. That still sounded weird. _He_ was pregnant. Though, no one was taking it quite as hard as they should have…Honestly, by then, Juudai should have been shipped off to a huge scientific research facility. Or not. His brother had beaten him to it. As well as Yuugi. And Malik. And Ryou. What was this world seriously coming to?!

"I don't hate you," Haou began, trying to assure him and calm him before the storm erupted. As Juudai gave a loud sniff, Haou realized he was a tad bit too late. And, unfortunately, whenever Juudai started going on any sort of "abnormal" behavior—whether it be his typical optimism and happy-go-lucky self or a sugar high or extreme stubbornness or depression—Haou grew angry. This was no exception. Trying to bite it back for Juudai's sake—for once—Haou took a deep breath, counting slowly backwards from ten, and offered, "Would you like me to get you something to eat?"

Juudai nibbled on his lower lip, his dark eyes darting around the car. Haou cringed inwardly. Oh boy, this was not good. He was about to lose it… "N-no…"

Haou sighed in exasperation. So now Juudai was sabotaging himself. Great. "I really think you should eat something."

"I don't want it." The brunet insisted, a pained expression coming to his face.

"No, I _really_ insist. You need to---"

"I don't WANT it!!" Juudai shouted, crossing his arms and pouting like a small child.

This was almost too much. Haou clutched the edge of the seat, his face reddening. He began to shake with rage. "Do NOT address me in such a barbaric manner!" He barked, his eyes narrowing, "Now you _will_ get something to eat and you're going to like it!"

"No!" Juudai persisted, growing all the more childish by the second.

Haou could refrain no longer. Juudai was behaving so naively, so _childishly_. He would _not _stand for such behavior and attitude from the teen! Before he could stop himself, he had Juudai by the throat and was smashing him against the window. "YOU ARE GOING TO EAT SOMETHING, DAMMIT, AND YOU ARE GOING TO STOP DISOBEYING ME!!"

Juudai opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. His face had paled considerably. At first, Haou thought it was because he was afraid, and felt satisfied. However, it became more than apparent that it was due to lack of oxygen. Frustrated, Haou banged him against the car door several more times before finally releasing him. Juudai coughed and gagged and sputtered and choked for several moments, in a well overshot dramatic display. Haou snorted, throwing the car door open and storming out.

Jabbing a finger at the helpless brunet, he snapped, "You stay _there_. Don't move. Understand?"

Juudai nodded, still gasping for breath. Haou turned away and went into the convenience store, grumbling to himself about how "high-maintenance" Juudai was. Actually, Juudai wasn't high-maintenance at all. Haou just perceived it as such because Juudai had the same basic needs that any human did. And he insisted on taking care of Juudai—quite against Juudai's protests—just so he could have more to gripe about. Ah, yes, that Haou was a strange creature indeed!

Alas, a few moments left alone to himself, depraved and bored out of his mind, was all Juudai needed to cause chaos. As he was sitting there, his curiosity got the better of him, and he started messing with the controls of the car. Most unfortunately, Juudai's parents had left the keys in the ignition. Oh, how foolish of them! But to Juudai, it was good luck. Grinning, he turned them, activating the still beast into a roaring, hot dragon of life and vitality, and began to play with the radio and the brake. He knew very well what he was doing. But did he really stop to think about the consequences? Not really. After all, he was stupid!

In fact, he was so oblivious and engrossed in his current activity, that he did not notice the car beginning to roll slowly backwards…

* * *

"Here's your change, sir," The man at the counter said, dropping a pile of filthy coins in Haou's reluctant palm.

He stared at it for a moment, his nose wrinkling in utter disgust. Such an atrocity! And why were there pennies and nickels and quarters in his hand, with the depictions of Lincoln, Jefferson, and Washington staring up at him with nonexistent beady eyes? This was _supposed_ to be Japan, for Ra's sake! Where was the yen? Oh well. He didn't know much about that world anyway, despite him having lived in Juudai's mind for seventeen years. Nevermind that. Picking up his purchase and muttering under his breath, he stepped out of the convenience store, only to be met by a very unpleasant surprise. _The car was ever so slowly inching towards a gas tank._

Now, Haou did not know much about Juudai's world. Except when it came to dangerous things that he could use to cause massive destruction and harm and such. Or things that had fallen into a plothole. At any rate, it registered in his sharp mind what was going to happen when that car hit that gas tank. And he only had a few seconds to stop it before the two made contact! Normally, he would not have cared a fig for such a matter. After all, it was none of his concern. But the problem here was, Juudai was in that vehicle, and he wasn't wearing a seat belt!

Quickly using his super-special epic awesome super powers of darkness, Haou leapt behind the car and pushed it with his energy back away from the tank. Unfortunately, the burst was stronger than he had anticipated, and Juudai had just realized what was happening and put the car in drive, as well as flooring the gas petal.

_SCREECH! EEEK! CRASH! BAM! "MY LEG!"_

Even though Haou was used to pain and suffering and destruction, this was a little bit of a surprise. He cringed and walked slowly over the fiery bits of metal scattered over the concrete, to the flaming scorched mess that was once a car. Calmly, he kicked the door open and dragged Juudai out, who was, for some reason or another, miraculously unharmed.

The first thing Haou did was give that boy a good smack across the face, followed by a good ol' fashioned butt whooping. After that was over though, he seized the brunet and pulled him into a bone-crushing embrace, highly reminiscent of the kinds of bear hugs Juudai suffocated the villains with after he defeated them. Whether he meant it as a show of affection, discipline or both…well, that was open to interpretation.

"Don't you _ever_ do _anything_ like that again!" Haou commanded, squeezing Juudai closer and ignoring the fire which was beginning to rise up around them.

Juudai's face paled a bit and he laughed nervously. "Maybe we should get out of here…"

"If you ever do that again," Haou continued, ignoring Juudai's comment, "Then I don't know what I'll do with you. You're so stubborn and disobedient!"

"Haou-sama, please, we really need to—"

"In fact, I think if you do choose to do that again, I'll beat you so hard you won't—"

"HAOU-SAMA, WE'RE GOING TO BLOW UP!" Juudai wailed, flailing his arms and gesturing towards a bit of flame that had reached a gas tank.

"For the love of Obelisk—" Haou pulled Juudai closer and pushed the other's head under his chin.

A transparent blackish-purplish force field surrounded them just as the entire gas tank ignited and blew the station sky high. Debris fell down from the heavens above. If it weren't so horrible, then it would have been peaceful, almost like metal rain. Juudai's eyes were huge. Haou remained calm.

"Wh-what happened to all the people?!" Juudai panicked, "Please don't tell me—"

"It happens," Was all Haou grunted, "And I hope this will teach you a lesson. It's your fault after all."

Juudai let out a strangled sounding cry and collapsed to the ground, much to Haou's astonishment. It sent Juudai spiraling into a deep, deep dark depression that would last for the next 24 hours or more, accompanied by strange habits that Haou would not be able to understand. Perhaps it would be even more mysterious than male pregnancy itself! Then again, that was pretty unfathomable. And Juudai's mood swings were just beginning. They had a long road ahead of them…

As Haou ushered Juudai away from the crime scene, Mr. and Mrs. Yuuki came back from their ice cream break. They stared at the greased oil spot on the earth where the station had once been, then looked at each other.

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!" Mr. Yuuki screamed. He, like Juudai, spiraled into a deep, deep dark depression that would last for the next 24 hours or more, accompanied by strange habits that Mrs. Yuuki would never understand. He knelt by the area, and wailed his lament to anyone that could hear within a 2,000 mile radius.

* * *

**A/N: **

**1: PMS—Penis Meanness Syndrome. Something my friends and I came up with one day at school. XD It basically means that a guy gets cranky and mean when he's horny and can't get some. XP **

**Lol I couldn't resist some "drama." And I know abuse should NOT be funny but I couldn't help it. DDD: Also, next time…Juudai has to tell his entire family the Good Word! And thank God for plotholes!**


	4. Chapter 4: Family Reunion From Hell

**A/N: Ok, so…I haven't been updating as much as I'd like thanks to my poor time management skills and bad sleeping habits. But hopefully that will change now that I've indentified the problem. At any rate, I'm relieved to finally be updating. :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX.**

* * *

Chapter 4: Family Reunion From Hell

Haou sighed miserably for the five hundredth time that afternoon as he sat in the hard wooden chair, cornered by one of Juudai's aunts. The woman was talking a mile a minute, and her voice was shrill and nasal. She had been talking to him for what felt like the past four months since she had disclosed pretty much so _every_ detail of her life. Some of those things he could never unhear…He wondered if he would ever get away from her.

"—And then my son says, he says, ok, so here's the _really _funny part; he says, 'but I was with Lisa all along!' Isn't that such a coincidence?" She burst into hearty laughter, her rolls of fat jiggling.

He sent her a dull, blank look; he was not amused. Really, what he would not _give_ to have his sword tightly gripped in his hand so he might—

"Haou-sama!"

Haou cringed visibly at the cheerful tone. He sent an angry glare towards the brunet who had yelled his name from across the room, looking like a cat whose fur had been rubbed the wrong way. Murmuring a pathetic excuse that he had to go tend to Juudai, Haou slipped past the obnoxious woman and stalked over to his queen, his tail twitching. Whoops. Sorry. Got a little bit too caught up in that mental image. KAWAII, amirite?

Anyway…

"What do you want?" Haou growled through clenched teeth, his eyes narrowing.

"Um," Juudai's smile wavered. He looked uncomfortable.

"_What do you want?!_" Haou spat again, leaning closer in Juudai's face.

Edging back against the wall, Juudai said nervously, "My mom wants…you to help her…in the kitchen."

"Why?!"

Juudai sunk against the wall a little more, laughing weakly. "She's having trouble opening the pickle jar, I think."  
"And why would I be targeted for such a _petty_ task?" Haou asked dryly, looking annoyed.

"I don't know. Because you're strong? And I guess she just wants to bond with you. Either that or she wanted you away from Auntie before you lost your cool and strangled some—"

"Enough!" Haou barked, "Fine! I'll go open the _pickle _jar."

He stormed past various family members on his way to the kitchen, all of whom cast him strange glances. He tried to ignore it for the time being. Oh, it didn't _look_ like he was paying attention. It didn't _look_ like he cared. But he was taking names. Later…much, much later…

A sadistic smirk lifted the edges of his mouth oh-so-slightly. By the time he stepped over the threshold into the kitchen, a full blown smirk was plastered on his hardened face. One would have thought that this would warn people to steer clear of him. But, no, quite the opposite. Why?

"Oh, Haou!" Mrs. Yuuki clasped her hands together, as though rejoicing or praising the Lord. Her eyes lit up and a cheery smile replaced the nervous look she'd had on her face before. "You're _smiling_! I'm so glad that you finally found some good out of this situation. See? I told you this would work out. It turned out to be a good idea after all!"

Haou could have smacked himself on the forehead. Was she serious? He gaped at her. Yep, she was serious. She was just about as in touch with reality as Juudai was. So that was where he had gotten it…He really did take after his mother. He must've been a mama's boy. How _pathetic_. How _shameful_ to take after a _woman_. Well, that was why he was the uke most of the time. And the child bearer, it seemed. Haou did not like women but he sure liked ukes! Not that he liked children though.

He opened his mouth to correct her on her misunderstanding, but it was too late. She looked at him with pleading, hopeful puppy dog eyes, and presented the pickle jar to him. He stared at it for a moment unblinkingly.

"Please?" She begged, holding it out a little farther, "You have to take an active role in this family too, you know. Please just do this one little, itty bitty thing!"

Grumbling beneath his breath, he snatched the jar from her and began to twist at the cap. No such luck. Annoyed, he tugged a little harder. Mrs. Yuuki stared at him the whole time. Her eyes never left him; they bored holes in his skull. He wanted to smack her for staring. How rude. Especially since he was royalty! But she did not know…

He clawed at the lid a moment more before she suggested he run it under warm water. Glaring at her, he replied under his breath, "I've got it."

"But it doesn't look like you—" She began.

"Silence! I will _not_ be outdone by a pickle jar!!" **(1)** He seemed more determined than ever.

Whimpering, she backed off for the time being. He tugged at the lid with all his might. He slammed it against the wall. He dropped it on the floor and jumped up and down on it. He even tried _biting_ it. All to no avail. Finally, with a cry of rage, he whipped out his sword and started stabbing it. It refused to budge.

"I quit!" He screamed, kicking the jar against the wall.

The lid popped off. He stared at the jar rolled across the floor, spilling pickle juice the whole way. He screamed again.

"Thank you, darling!" Mrs. Yuuki chirped, oblivious to the genocidal gleam in his eyes.

Oh, he was going to _chop_ the next person that dared step foot into the kitchen. He was going to freaking _kill_ them and Mrs. Yuuki would have to clean up the bloody mess with her _tongue_. Smirking, he stood near the door, readying himself for the attack. He heard footsteps as someone came closer. Yes, yes, just a little bit more…His sadistic smirk widened as the poor innocent victim came closer.

"Hey, can I—"

"RAWR!" Haou lunged at the person, sword raised. He brought it down on the unsuspecting head.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Juudai screamed as Haou's sword nearly cut his ear off. Thankfully, it only left a sizable cut across his face, which was gushing blood, by the way.

Holding his face, Juudai rushed into the kitchen to clean it up, all the while wailing that he was going to die. It was then that he slipped on the pickle juice and went sliding across the floor until he tried to regain his balance. Then, he slipped again and _flipped_ and fell flat on his face. The floor really was covered in blood at that point.

When all was quiet, Haou finally realized what had just happened. He felt a stab of guilt at the sight of poor Juudai all sprawled out on the floor, moaning that he was going to bleed to death. Quickly, he dropped the bloody sword and ran over to aid his husband.

"HELP! I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!" Juudai wailed dramatically, clawing at the refrigerator.

Mrs. Yuuki gawked in horror, her mouth opening and closing like a fish's. "Oh, my…"

Haou dropped to his knees, gathering Juudai up in his arms. Juudai had a hand tightly clamped on his face, though the blood still seeped through his fingers. He looked up at Haou with teary eyes. Haou felt awful.

"I'm sorry…" He sputtered, not knowing what else to say, "I didn't know you would come through the door."

"Who did you _think _I was? Auntie?" Juudai sniffed, "That's still no reason to cut my freaking _ear_ off!"

Haou opened his mouth, then closed it. Scowling, he turned to Mrs. Yuuki. "Don't just stand there staring like a fool! Fetch a warm wet rag, woman!"

"Y-Yes sir!" Mrs. Yuuki hurriedly snatched a dishrag and ran hot water over it, then squeezed some of the excess water out before handing it to Haou.

Haou gently dabbed at the wound, still clutching Juudai tightly. "Are you all right?" He asked in concern, pressing the cloth against the river of blood.

"Well, let's see…I have my face ripped open, I have pickle juice all over my clothes, I think I broke my nose, I might have killed my baby and my body is bruised in at least sixteen places. Yes, I'm just _fine_." Juudai snapped sarcastically, glaring.

Haou looked worried. "But you're going to _be_ Ok, right?"

"As long as I don't _bleed_ to death and as long as _my_ baby is still alive, then yes, I will be." Juudai looked angry enough to bite Haou. Which Haou was kind of afraid he might do.

"It was an accident, Ok?!" Haou snapped, suddenly getting angry as well. It was probably because he was getting defensive about his mistake.

"Well, if you wouldn't be so violent to begin with then it would never have happened!" Juudai exclaimed, raising his head up a bit, "But of course, you just don't have the self control. You're even mad at _me _right now! Then again, you're always mad at me. So I guess it shouldn't be a big surprise."

Haou opened his mouth to scream at Juudai, then realized what Juudai had just said. He looked up at the ceiling for a moment, his mouth still wide open. "Ohhhh…" He looked sheepish.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Juudai grumbled, looking away.

Haou said nothing for a minute; he only gently rubbed Juudai's cheek with the cloth. Then, feeling remorseful, he leaned down and kissed Juudai on the forehead, much to the other's dismay.

Juudai made a face. "What are you doing?"

"Apologizing." Haou blinked.

"How about saying 'I'm sorry' like a normal person?" Juudai complained.

Frowning, Haou told him, "You're lucky I'm sorry at all."  
Juudai's eyes softened. Haou thought that perhaps he was beginning to realize how lucky he was. Or, at the very least, accept his apology. They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, unmoving. Haou opened his mouth to say something nice for once; he just _had_ to feel the words flow off his tongue! But before he could do anything, Juudai burst into tears.

"Why must I be so hated?!" He wailed.

"Oh, my poor baby!" Mrs. Yuuki wailed as well, running over to coddle her son.

Haou bared his teeth and growled, like a dog possessive over its meal. Mrs. Yuuki turned pale, and backed slowly away. Frustrated, Haou turned back to Juudai. He didn't understand. Why was the boy so upset? He'd said he was sorry, hadn't he? He was cleaning him up, wasn't he? Did he not see he was the most loved person in the entire world? The _ingrate_. His first urge was to smack Juudai sharply across the face, but he quickly refrained. As irritating as his crying was, he had reason to be so upset. Haou guessed it was the accident combined with the way he treated Juudai combined with hormones. But mostly hormones. Juudai could handle anything but hormones. This had been evident from the way that he begged for sex even if he didn't love Haou. Once he'd had it well…he'd met his match. Haou was not amused as a random plothole forced him to flash back.

* * *

_Haou was sitting in the library of his castle, peacefully reading a book. It was a nice day to be reading, since it was raining outside and all. The wind was howling against the castle and some of the higher towers were shaking. Chaos was everywhere. This made him very, very happy. Chaos meant that he was doing his job right._

_Just as he was at the peak of his euphoric moment, just breathing in the scent of destruction and listening to the musical cries of the prisoners drowning in the flooded dungeon, there was a gentle scritch-scratch at his door. He chose to ignore it initially, but it grew more persistent as time went on._

Scritch.

_Haou glanced over at the door, then back down at his book. He was not going to let that bother him._

Scratch.

_What…the…hell. He glared at the door, as though _that_ would silence the annoying noise._

Scritch-scratch! Scritch-scratch! Scritch-scratch! **Scritchscratchscritchscratchscritchscratchscritchscratch!!!!!!!!!**

"_Oh, for the love of…" Haou threw his book down and screamed in irritation before storming over to the door. This person was going to get a piece of his mind! Unless it was his cat. Then he was going to pick it up and cuddle it, since no one was looking. Flinging open the door, he opened his mouth to roar._

_Well, it was not his cat but it _was_ his kitten. Sex kitten that was. Juudai was all dolled up, wearing a fluffy, frilly gothic-lolita dress, silk ribbons tied in bows in his hair and a headband with kitty ears attached to them perched atop his massive hair. He blinked his large chocolate eyes and said one word:_

"_Mrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooowwwwww!!!!!" He pawed at Haou's leg and rolled over suggestively, his legs all sprawled up in the air._

_And what Haou saw as far as the underwear was concerned…shall not be described. This is a fucking T-rated fic, you pervs! That's all you're getting! _

_Oops. There goes the fourth wall again. Anyway…_

"_Juudai, what are you doing?!" Despite himself, his face was growing very hot._

"_Haou-SAMA," Juudai purred, his eyes half-shutting into little glistening slits, "I need you."_

"_Feh!" Haou swallowed hard, and tried to ignore the cry of pain from within his pants. "Get out of here! I'm busy!" _

"_No!" Juudai whined, attacking his leg and clinging with all four limbs. He climbed Haou's leg like a cat climbing a tree. He smirked impishly up at the other, and cocked his head a bit to one side. "COME on. You know you want it." He waggled his butt. "Please pet me!"_

"_You're annoying," Haou snapped, trying to shove Juudai off. "Stop acting so…so…"_

"_Irresistible?"_

"_No, you're being so—"_

"_Sexy?"_

"_NO! Damn it, you're—"_

"_Puuurrrrrrfect?"_

"_NO! You're acting like a woman in heat! Now get off of me!"_

"_But, Haou," He whined, dropping the act. He slid down Haou's leg, causing the other to shiver involuntarily. "I'm _dying_. I have needs, you know."_

"_Well, I'm busy!" Haou insisted, trying to close the door._

_Faster than a speeding bullet, Juudai had wedged himself between the door and the wall. "Fuck me!" He cried._

"_No! Shut up!"_

"_If you don't fuck me I'm going to cry!"_

"_I don't want to fuck you!"_

"_Yes, you do! It's written all over your face! Come on, it's FREE."_

"_You're _sick_."_

* * *

Haou quickly chased the thought from his mind. He was getting all warm thinking about it. Sometimes when Juudai got horny enough, he would do the weirdest things. And that was just fine with Haou. Oh, it was more than fine…But he couldn't let Juudai know. He _liked_ him to beg. And usually, if Juudai was that worked up, he was very, very obedient in bed. He did all sorts of things to—

"Haou, Haou!" Juudai wailed, waving his hand in front of Haou's face, "Do you still hate me?! Please talk to me!"

A bit of drool escaped the king's mouth, landing on Juudai's nose as he spaced out.

"Ew!" Juudai wiped it from his face, grimacing. "You're disgusting! WAH! You spit on me!"

"Oh, sorry, I was—"

"You were thinking about sex, again, weren't you?" Juudai whimpered, "That's all I'm good for, isn't it?"

"No, no! That's not—"

"Yes, it is!" Juudai whined, pounding his fists against Haou's chest like a little girl, "I hate you!"

This took Haou by surprise. He looked a little sad because he took these things very, very literally. Maybe he would be angry later. But for the time being, it just hurt. "Juudai, please…I'm sorry…"

"Oh! So you said the 'p' word and the 'I-s' word all at once! WAH! You're really lying now!"

" 'I'm sorry' is more than one—"

"Why do you hate me?! WHY?! What have I done? All I've ever done was good for you and—"

Haou groaned. He'd heard enough of this. Leaning down, he captured Juudai's lips in a passionate kiss to shut him up. It worked. Juudai lay still for a moment, his teary chocolate eyes wide. Then, because he needed the comfort so badly, he flung his arms around Haou's neck and clung, kissing him back.

Mrs. Yuuki watched on nervously as the two made out all over the floor, covered in pickle juice and blood. She opened her mouth to try to stop them, then closed it when Haou sent her the death glare. She watched as the two boys closed their eyes, which disturbed her. With their eyes closed, they looked like twins.

It was then that Juudai's cousin decided to stick her head in the kitchen. "Hey, do you have any—OMG YAOI!"

Now, Juudai's cousin was a very, very special girl. She was what people called a 'yaoi fangirl,' meaning she would squee and spazz over two cute boys kissing. But she wasn't just any type of yaoi fangirl. She was an INCEST yaoi fangirl. Her specialty? TWINCEST. So naturally when she saw this, she thought it was a dream come true.

"OMG this is SOOOOOOOO better than Ouran High School Host Club!" She squee-ed, taking a bajillion pictures with her camera phone.

"Please, boys," Mrs. Yuuki said in desperation, stepping closer to them, "Have some digni—WHOA!" She slipped on the pickle juice and fell on her butt.

Juudai jerked his head away from Haou, who kept trying to lean in and lick the blood off his face. "Mom! Are you Ok?!"

"Yes, dear, I'm just fine." She groaned, "I just wanted to tell you to be careful not to make another baby here on the floor."

Juudai's face turned bright red. So did his cousin's. But not in embarrassment or disgust. In joy.

"MPREG!" She shouted gleefully.

"Julia what are you doing now?!" Oh, no. Aunt Talks-A-Lot was coming over, her face creased in a huge scowl. "How many times have I told you not to mess with that stuff? I keep telling you and telling you that you're going to go to HELL for looking at that!" She waggled her finger at Julia, who proceeded to whinge.

"But MOOOOOM! It's so KAWAII!!! SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" She shouted so loudly, the walls shook. A few dishes fell down from the cupboard and onto Juudai's head.

"Owie!"

"You see? When you mess with stuff like that then God doesn't like you very much." Aunt Pious-Homophobe chided.

When she turned around and started to walk away, all the while scolding Julia, Haou picked up a shard of broken plate and hurled it at her. It nailed her right in the butt. She screamed and grabbed it, clutching it. This earned her some stares and snickers.

"Serves you right, bitch," Haou muttered, brushing the crumblies of broken plate from Juudai's hair.

Juudai stared up at him for a moment, then busted out laughing. He laughed so hard it shook Haou. He laughed so hard he could not breathe. He laughed until he cried. Haou was puzzled.

"That was great," Juudai snickered, wiping a tear from his eye, "Thanks, for cheering me up, Haou!" He wrapped his arms around the other's neck and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Haou's face turned redder than Juudai's jacket. He coughed loudly and got off of him, then helped him up as well. By then, the bleeding had stopped, so Haou just finished cleaning him up and put a bandage over the wound. Well, Ok, maybe not _one_ bandage. More like seven band-aids lined up like a big trail down his face.

"Ok, people!" A random person shouted from the other room, "It's time to eat!"

Juudai groaned. It was almost time for the worst part of the day: family announcements.

* * *

"—And that was how my brother-in-law got his tooth filling back from the toilet." An old man finished, as everyone clapped. He sat back down.

Haou stared at his half eaten plate of food, then pushed it away in disgust. If he'd had any sort of an appetite before, it was most surely gone by now. He didn't think he'd ever want to eat again after _that_ story. Glancing over at Juudai, who was gobbling his food like he'd never seen it before, he wondered how the brunet could tune out such an awfully vivid story. Well, kudos to him if he could do it. Maybe he could teach Haou.

He briefly wondered who would be going next, though he didn't really care. Whoever went, it was bound to be boring. And they still had another hour or two left there with all those smelly people. Oh, joy.

"Ok, anyone else have announcements?" A lady in a bright pink floral shirt and floppy straw hat asked.

Mrs. Yuuki stood up. "Yes, our son, Juudai, has an announcement."

Haou's eyes widened. He turned his head in Juudai's direction so fast, it almost gave him whiplash. As for Juudai, he looked like a deer in headlights. His eyes were huge. His mouth dropped open and the food he'd been chewing plopped out onto his plate. All eyes were on him.

"Juudai, why don't you go ahead and tell the family about the, um, _addition_." Mrs. Yuuki prompted, a big fake smile plastered on her face.

"Oh, um, I…" Juudai stood shakily, his eyes still wide as saucers. He gulped, and felt as though the noise had echoed. He stared at the sea of relatives, who stared back with intent gazes. The room seemed ten thousand times larger; the walls were closing in on him. Feeling as though he were choking, Juudai coughed a few times and breathed deeply. "Um…Umm…I don't know what to say…"

"Just say it! We ain't got all day!" An elderly woman snarled, waving her cane threateningly at him, "I have bingo at seven! Make it snappy!"

"Well, I, uh…I'm married…"

All eyes widened. There was a loud murmuring amongst the family members. There was a lot of 'I wonder who this girl is' and 'she'd better be nice.' But no one questioned how he could be married at seventeen when the law of Japan stated that one had to be _eighteen_.

"Um, and…my…" He paused to cough, "My husband…uhh…is…my Yami…He's right here…" He gestured towards Haou, his face burning.

There was a loud uproar. A few people threw their chicken at him. He tried to shield himself from the flying drumsticks and hot wings. Mashed potatoes went sailing through the air and splatted on his face. He only wiped it off and then licked his fingers before continuing.

"And…I'm…pregnant."

Dead silence. Not even the crickets chirped. Everyone sat still, their mouths agape. Juudai grinned nervously, and began to sat down. No one dared to move. All gazes were fixated on him just as intently as ever.

Finally, one man jumped up out of his seat with a pitchfork. "Get him!" He snarled.

"YEAH!"

The entire Yuuki family chased him out of the room, armed with torches and pitchforks, screaming about how he was 'shaming the family.' Poor Juudai. It was not even his fault. And the bastard who deserved the blame? He calmly sashayed out of the building, unharmed. No one even tried to mess with him. They knew it was all the slut's fault anyway. Thankfully, he managed to save Juudai before he was burned at the stake and/or stabbed to death.

Carrying Juudai over his shoulder, Haou hurried over to the car, which Mr. and Mrs. Yuuki had already started. He leapt in through the open door as it sped by him, then slammed it shut. Juudai clung to him for dear life as Mr. Yuuki floored the gas pedal and they went speeding down the road, leaving the family behind in a cloud of dust. Everyone was safe, yet badly shaken.

"Well, that went well," Mrs. Yuuki said nervously, gripping the armrests of the car. Her hair was in a disarray; it looked like a bird's nest.

"Yes, indeed," Mr. Yuuki said sarcastically, "I _told_ you not to tell them! You know how our family feels about gays! Great. Now we've been _disowned_."

Juudai's lower lip quivered. "I-I'm s-sorry."

"No, don't be. It's not your fault, dear," Mrs. Yuuki sighed, "We still love you. We don't blame you at all. Those people are just, just…_jerks_!"

"Hmph." Mr. Yuuki grumbled something beneath his breath. His wife hit him.

"What did you say?!"

"I said, uhh…I was mad but I'm not going to treat Juudai any differently because of this." Mr. Yuuki quickly invented.

"That's what I thought you said!" Mrs. Yuuki gave him the death glare.

Juudai melted into a puddle in Haou's arms. He shivered a little. "That was scary…Thanks for saving me, Haou."

Haou grunted in response. However, he kept a tight grip on Juudai, holding his shivering body close.

"You guys didn't have to help me out," Juudai told his parents, "Haou wouldn't have abandoned me. I don't want you to be disowned because of me."

Mrs. Yuuki frowned. "Don't ever say that! We're a family and we stick together and love each other no matter what! Besides, I never liked those people anyway." She smiled warmly.

"Aw, mom, do you really mean that?" Juudai asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Of course I do! Now, who's up for ice cream!"  
"Me!" Juudai shouted, jumping up and down like a little kid.

They drove off into the sunset, all happy. Well, except for Haou. He had a feeling that that was not the end of the Yuuki family trouble. But at least they were away from them for the time being. Oh, well. It was probably just a feeling anyway. However, he failed to notice the blinking tracking device that had been glued to the car. The family would find them again one day. An evil plan was coming together to get rid of the 'family shame.' Juudai was in danger at the hands of his own family. And he did not even know it.

* * *

**A/N:**

**This is something my friend used to say every time she had trouble with an object. Like when she had trouble with a stapler she would say "I will **_**not**_** be outdone by a stapler!" **

**Yeah…um…ahem. I don't know what to say. I didn't mean to put in a "feely good" message in there but…it happened. DX Yeah…ugh. This is how my family would react to this type of thing so…yeah kinda making fun of them. And kinda making fun of myself at the yaoi fangirl part…sorta. Not entirely but…it's the truth for some, amirite? No offense to be taken b/c it was at me too. Anyway, I hope it was funny. ^^; Plz don't KEEEL me. XD**


	5. Chap5 Dr Donut Says There's MOAR Than 1

**A/N: Ok, so originally, this chapter was going to involve crazy self-inserts. But then there was a horrible influx of mpreg fanfic. So I tore my hair out and rolled around the floor in spasms until I came up with a brilliant (or not so much; I give myself TOO much credit where it is not due OTL;;) idea. I should just write a chapter focusing on the pregnancy of Juudai which is biologically impossible! And since the other father is Haou, aka Juudai, the this is going to be one genetically fucked up kid! Anyway…ahem…on with the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. But I wish I did. Cuz then I'd make an mpreg parody of it on the show and torture all the characters by making everyone but the girls preggers. Cuz girls don't get pregnant, silly!**

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* * *

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Chapter 5: Dr. Doughnut Says There's MOAR Than One Bun in the Oven

Juudai stood in front of the full length mirror in his and Haou's bedroom, inspecting his stomach. He stood up straight, gazing upon his reflection from profile view. Well, it definitely wasn't his imagination. If he pulled his shirt tight around his figure, he could see the beginning of a…le gasp!...bulge. Perplexed at how this could actually be happening, even though he had known for awhile, he poked the bump fearfully, then jumped even though nothing had happened. He stared with wide eyes at his stomach, fear gripping him to the core. Just looking at it made him want to cry. Sure, he'd like to have kids someday…But he didn't want to bear them! Especially when he was seventeen!

Hearing the door open, he jumped again, squeezing his eyes shut. Opening one eye part-way, he saw Haou's reflection in the background of the mirror. So he had been the one to come in. Juudai did not particularly want to see him at the moment, especially when he was trying to have his private emo time.

Haou had other plans though. He sauntered over to Juudai, curious to why he was staring at himself so intently in the mirror and looking so distressed. He grew a little bit concerned…and annoyed. "What's wrong with you?"

…He never had been good with words. Especially not when he was trying to be sympathetic.

"Um, nothing," Juudai replied, his face reddening. The last thing he needed was for Haou to know about his low self-esteem. He might make fun of him. It just seemed like something he would do. Haou would do anything if it would cause the other pain.

Frowning, Haou looked him over, then grunted. "It's begun…" He said grimly.

"What's begun?" Juudai asked, blinking cluelessly. Though, he was getting worried with the look that Haou had on his face. Actually…he didn't have an expression on his face. More like his eyes seemed to droop in disappointment.

"Oh, nothing." Haou turned away, seeming irritated. Though, Juudai swore that he heard a small snicker come from his direction.

Now he was really worried. "WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Juudai shouted, his face crumpling in severe alarm.

Haou whirled around to scold him. Loud noises ground on his nerves. But when he saw that look on Juudai's face, he was filled with glee. Well, as much glee as a Haou-sama could be filled with. "Oh…Well, if it means that much to you…" He paused for dramatic effect, and placed a hand on his hip, looking kind of a like a fashion model striking a pose, only less pronounced. "…You're getting fat." Having said that, he turned away, and started to walk out.

"Fat?!" Juudai yelped, looking distressed.

Now, he wasn't too concerned about his weight. But that was because he had never had a problem with it. Not just that, but _Haou_ had said it. And Haou had _laughed_ at him. Ok, so maybe he just found it amusing? Well, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Haou did not find it attractive. And even though Juudai had not cared for his feelings before, he was now worried that the other might dump him. After all, if he was not attractive and if he was carrying a child—which oh so conveniently defied the laws of biology and genetics—then Haou would ditch him and he'd have to fend for himself and his child. It did not sound very promising. Especially when this was the one time he would need his partner's help.

"Haou-sama!" Juudai dropped to his knees, grabbing the other's ankles and clinging for dear life. He stared up at the king with a desperate gaze.

In response, Haou looked coolly down at him. He'd seen that look far too many times. "What?" He asked nonchalantly. He looked at his fingernails, bored.

"What can I do to make you still love me?!" Juudai wailed, clinging tighter to his ankles. Really, the pregnancy was getting to his head. He wasn't himself at all. But would _anyone_ be with that hanging over his head?

Haou glanced down at him again, arching an eyebrow. "There is nothing you can do to _make_ me love you. Stop being ridiculous."

"But, but…if you don't then you'll leave me and I'll be all alone and have to take care of this thing all by myself!" Juudai whined, his eyes watering, "Please help me!"

Sighing in exasperation, Haou kicked Juudai off his ankles and knelt down in front of him, grasping his face and staring him directly in the eyes. "Do you really think I'd do something so foolish? If I did that, I wouldn't be able to keep track of that _thing_. That _thing_ is my heir and must be disposed of properly before it dethrones me. Besides, it would be foolish to lose you too. After all, you are my Hikari and could come of great use to me. I could use you to obtain power." It all sounded so cold, so unfeeling. But then again, that was just the way Haou was. Though, he did _somewhat_ redeem himself as he added an afterthought. "Although, you are a good companion."

"So, you're not going to dump me?" Juudai gazed up at him with hopeful brown eyes.

Wrinkling his nose in disdain, Haou replied, "Of course not!"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" Juudai tried to kiss his feet, but Haou just kicked him in the mouth.

"Don't do that! It's disgusting!" Haou commanded, annoyed.

"Sorry."

Juudai picked himself up off the floor and dusted himself off, then glanced down at his stomach again. His eyes widened and he could not help but let out a little scream. Haou cringed at the sudden loud noise, as they bothered him greatly, but did not say anything. Juudai kept staring down at his stomach, his hands covering his mouth. Was it just him or had his stomach gotten bigger within the past few minutes? Feeling as though he was being inflated much faster than he should, he seized on to Haou's arm, his face paling. He was so paranoid, every time he looked down it seemed larger. Not to mention he thought he felt it _moving_. Though, that was not really possible at the stage he was in. Right?

…Well, he supposed things were different for male pregnancy.

"Will you release me?" Haou asked irately. He stared Juudai down with slitted eyes, looking like an angry kitty.

"N-No…I can't…I'm afraid to…" Juudai gasped, beginning to hyperventilate, "…Haou-sama…I can't do this. I can't do this. For the love of kami, _I can't do this_!!"

"Oh," Haou seemed unbothered. Looking down at his fingernails again, he remarked casually, "Well, in that case, I suppose it would be all right with you if I stabbed that bastard out of you." He unsheathed his sword and pointed it at Juudai's stomach, ready to spear him like a shish-kabob.

"No, no, NO!" Juudai's voice went up to the pitch of an unmanly squeak. He backed away, his eyes huge, sweat pouring down his face in waterfalls. "Please have mercy! You must have some sort of a heart…It's our child!"

Haou seemed disappointed. Reluctantly, he put his sword away. "So you're going to go through with it?"

"I have to," Juudai whimpered, his eyes tearing up again, "I don't want to but I have to."

He and Haou stood there for several minutes, just staring into each other's eyes. Haou tried to understand what was so special about the baby, but he failed miserably. He just couldn't understand why Juudai wouldn't let him kill it. It would solve the problem, and everyone would be happy. Right?

Juudai suddenly flinched and gripped his stomach, his face paling even more than it already was. Whereas his face had been white as a sheet before, now it was beyond anything humanly imaginable. Despite himself, Haou began to grow concerned.

"Are you all right?" He asked softly, trying not to sound too nervous or too caring. He placed a hand on Juudai's shoulder to steady him, for he was shaking terribly.

"Uh…" Juudai squeezed his eyes shut, wobbling a little. "Haou…" He gripped Haou's other hand tightly, his own palm clammy with cold sweat. "Haou-sama…it's…it's…moving…It's making me so sick…"

A wave of vertigo washed over him, and he felt his breakfast rising from his stomach. Desperately, he tried to hold it down, though it was very difficult. His knees started to buckle and give in; perhaps he would have fallen had Haou not been supporting him.

"Juudai…" Haou helped him over to the bed, nearly having to carry him because he was shaking so hard.

Juudai lay down on the bed, groaning a little in pain. Haou crawled on the mattress next to him, and looked at him with a concerned gaze. The poor brunet lay there on his back, gulping air as he tried to calm his stomach. "Make…it…stop…" He gasped.

Haou frowned in thought for a moment. Then, he asked, "Are you _sure_ you don't want me to kill it?" He looked skeptically at the other boy.

"No!" Juudai exclaimed suddenly, "Don't! I—Oh…nooooo…." Rolling over, he gripped his stomach, his eyes squeezing shut.

"Well, then," Haou grumbled, "Maybe you should see a doctor."

"I don't wanna see a damn doctor," Juudai moaned, tossing back and forth, continuing to clutch his aching stomach.

"Well, you _have_ to," Haou admonished, "After all, if you care about this filthy bastard so much, then shouldn't you be getting a check-up about now?" Oh, he was trying to seem like he didn't care. He wanted more than anything to remain cold and unfeeling. He did not _want_ to care. But as much as he hated it, he did worry about Juudai's health. After all, he didn't want to lose Juudai because of a damn baby. That he wasn't even supposed to be capable of having. Maybe if they _did_ go to the hospital then they could get some answers.

"I guess," Juudai sighed, looking uncertain, "I just didn't want to go because…"

"Because what?" Haou scowled at him.

"Because I was afraid of being embarrassed…" He admitted sheepishly, "Don't you think it's kind of, I don't know, weird?!"

Haou blinked, his expression not even changing. "Oh, well. You're still going."

"But I don't want to go out! I feel like crap!" Juudai protested.

"Suck it up." Haou seized him by the back of the shirt and dragged him off the bed and out the door. He was going to take Juudai to the hospital whether he wanted to go or not. The way that the brunet was acting was really beginning to worry him. Besides, he wanted to see if there was anything they could do to rid of this parasite. He didn't want that kid! If there was any way to get rid of that thing, by Ra, he was going to do it!

He ignored Juudai's cries and whimpers as he dragged him out the door. Nothing was going to stop him now! Juudai was going to the doctor and that was the end of that.

* * *

Juudai sat on the edge of the counter, swinging his legs nervously. Haou stood nearby, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a sour expression on his face. Well, if he could even be described as having an actual expression. The point was that he wasn't happy and Juudai wasn't happy…They did not want this to be happening and they most certainly did not want to be there. Oh, well. There wasn't a thing they could do about it while they awaited test results. They had to make sure that Juudai was healthy first of all.

The doctor came back in the room, holding a clipboard in his hand and a half-eaten doughnut in his mouth. He didn't really seem to be paying attention to what he was doing, for he banged his head against the doorway. Muttering a curse beneath his breath, he rubbed his forehead and sat down in a swivel chair. He spun around for a few minutes, nibbling on the pastry and staring at the test results. This made Juudai anxious. He bit his lip and wrung his hands. It made Haou irritated. How dare the doctor be acting like such a child! Didn't he see he was supposed to professional?

The doctor lifted his legs in the air as he spun faster. The papers attached to the clipboard flapped wildly as he went around and around and around…Juudai's eyes followed him until he began to get dizzy too. His face turned green and he gagged a little. Haou shot him a look. He'd better not throw up in the doctor's office! How vulgar! To get his disapproval across, he cracked his knuckles and shook a fist at Juudai, who nodded weakly. He knew his ass would be whooped if he did upchuck. As for that silly doctor…Haou turned to him and cleared his throat rather loudly.

"Well, how are the results?" He asked angrily, hunching his shoulders and glaring. His eyes began to glow. He did _not_ like waiting on people when it was _his_ precious time they were wasting.

The doctor kept spinning around. Gradually, he began to sing softly to himself. Haou was beginning to wonder if he should belong in the psycho ward. In fact, he was beginning to wonder if this were a doctor at all! It could very well be a patient from the mental ward that had snuck out and put a doctor's coat on. Though, he had seemed sane when he had administered the tests. He had seemed to know what he was doing…Now Haou was really mad. How could he have let some _idiot_ mess with his precious Juudai like that? Grumbling under his breath, he smacked himself on the forehead, wishing he had paid more attention.

"You know," The doctor suddenly said, taking a huge bite of his doughnut, jelly smearing across his messy mustache, "This is really weird. A boy that's pregnant. I mean, I didn't believe it when I heard it but…these tests sure do prove it! It's hilarious…just hilarious!" He began to laugh as he sifted through the papers, his face turning as red as the jelly on his face.

Juudai sank down in shame, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "I knew it…" He mumbled.

Frowning, Haou seized Juudai's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He hated to see Juudai embarrassed like that. Normally, it would've taken a lot to embarrass him. But this was weird and unnatural! Of course he was going to be embarrassed! "Don't listen to him," Haou muttered in Juudai's ear, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb comfortingly, "It just means that there's something else you can do that no one else can."

It did not really help. Well, Haou wasn't going to tell him he was special or any bullshit like that. He was…honest…

"I'll tell you what it means!" The doctor cried joyously, laughing harder until the chair trembled, "It means you're a freak! It means that you could be with the circus! HAHAHA!" He spewed saliva and soggy crumbs everywhere as he laughed, "And…and…" He paused, gasping for breath and nearly inhaling the doughnut in the process. Haou rather wished he had. "…it means I could make _millions_ off you as my patient!" His eyes turned into green dollar signs. Which made no sense because one, this was Japan and they used yen, and two, it was real life so how could his eyes do that? Well, Juudai had gotten pregnant even though that was unrealistic so…fuck reality. This is fanfiction!

"You will do _no_ such thing!" Haou barked, squeezing poor Juudai's hand so hard that the other yiped in pain. "Now, just tell us what the tests say! Is he normal?"

"Normal?! HA! That's a hoot!" The doctor howled, slapping his knee, "Listen, boy, by no means is this kid 'normal.'" He formed air quotes at this point, biting his lip in order to try to contain his glee. It did not work. He was not trying very hard. "He's anything _but_ normal! And he's not healthy either!" He spun around again, looking excited, "In fact, we might even have a miscarriage in a few weeks because he's so darn skinny and weak!"

Juudai glanced over at Haou, giving him a pained look. Haou licked his lips nervously, and rubbed Juudai's hand, trying to reassure him. "You'll be fine." He glared at Juudai, as though this would reinforce that 'fact' somehow. He only succeeded in making Juudai feel worse than he already did.

"Miscarriage?!" Juudai gasped, his eyes widening to the size of saucers, "B-b-but! B-but! How do you know that? How…I…wha…HAOU-SAMA, IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR STARVING ME!" His eyes filled swiftly with tears as hormonal rage washed over him.

Ignoring Juudai's scariness, Haou blinked calmly and replied, "You did not need all that food. Now you do. You'll be fine. Nothing bad will happen."

Juudai shifted uneasily. Whenever Haou said something like this, it was because an evil scheme was coming together in his mind and he was trying to divert Juudai's attention from it. Already, the brunet could see the wheels turning in the king's head. A miscarriage would be great in his eyes! And if it was already predicted, then no one would bat an eye if an 'accident' just happened to occur. As a slow, wicked grin spread across Haou's characteristically deadpan face, Juudai began to realize that he was in for a world of hurt.

"You wouldn't…"

"I wouldn't do _anything_," Haou assured him, his eyes half-closing and his smirk receding a bit. He stroked Juudai's hair and face, slipping an arm around his waist. Oh, yeah, he was up to no good. His expression was craftier than Kraft Mac n' Cheese. By the way, that comparison was really cheesy.

"Anyway," The doctor said, his mouth still full of doughnut, "I think we might wanna do an ultrasound just to be safe. I mean, haha, after all, this is a really weird case. Gotta make sure the thing ain't deformed. In the meantime, I'll write you a prescription to ease the pain and yadda yadda. Get some vitamins too." He scribbled something down, and handed the scrap of paper to Haou, who snatched it from him, glaring.

Juudai clung to the edge of the counter, his eyes wide, looking freaked out. "You don't really think…"

"Oh, yeah," The doctor said loudly, confident of himself. He got up and strode across the room, "I mean, hell, not only are you a guy, for Pete's sake, but your baby's father is your twin! Haha, weirdest thing I've ever seen! Now, follow me!" He skipped out the door, his white lab coat billowing out behind him as he ran down the hall. "Whoopie!" He shouted, jumping in the air and clicking his heels together, "I'm gonna be rich!"

Juudai looked over at Haou in dismay. Haou mirrored his expression, only in more bitter sense. Without a word, he turned his back on Juudai, and began to walk out the door. Juudai jumped off the counter and wobbled a bit when his feet hit the floor, but quickly regained his balance. He hurried after his Yami, his legs turning to jelly at the thought of a deformed child living inside of him.

"Haou-sama!"

Haou threw an angry glance at him from over his shoulder. "What do you want now?!" He spat, his golden eyes narrowing.

Panting, Juudai grabbed onto the sleeve of his black jacket, and clung, digging his fingers in the fabric. "Please don't walk out on me now. I need you." He whined. "For once in my life I do need you and that's the time you decide to abandon me. Come on. This is one thing I can't do alone. Please help me." He gazed up at the king with imploring brown eyes.

Haou tried not to look into them for too long, lest he be overtaken by the spell. However, he couldn't help it. His black hole of a heart melted, and he relented despite his efforts not to give in. "FINE." He practically screamed, causing Juudai to jump a mile, "I'll come with you even though I really don't want to see the filthy thing! HMPH!" He slung an arm carelessly over Juudai's shoulders, looking as though he might hiss and bite him at any given moment. Juudai cowered back.

"Sorry…I just…"

"Shut up." Haou slapped him across the face, irritated.

Juudai recoiled, his eyes a little wide in surprise. He put a hand on his cheek where there was a large, red handprint. His eyes misted over a little. Even if he was used to it, his hormones were going crazy and he was having trouble dealing with the abuse now. "I'm sorry."

"HARUMPH." Haou replied, and marched stiffly down the hall towards the dark room where the doctor was waiting in the doorway with a box of doughnuts in his hand. White powder now dusted his mustache.

"Hurry up! I don't have all day!" The doctor yelled down the hall, taking another huge bite of his food.

"What a glutton!" Haou snarled in disgust, clenching his fists. Then, he muttered under his breath, "Why do I have to deal with such people?"

Juudai followed him like a forlorn puppy as he went into the darkened room. The doctor gestured towards a table, with a sneaky grin on his face. Haou gave him The Look, a silent warning not to pull any stunts. Of course, the doctor was going to do what he wanted so…

"Lie down, little boy," He cackled wickedly, his wolfish grin spreading like wildfire over his face.

"Umm…I'm uncomfortable," Juudai said, his eyes darting about nervously.

"Who cares?! Just take a load off!" The doctor shoved him down to the table.

Immediately, leather straps came out from the sides and bound him down to the surface, restraining his arms and legs too. His eyes grew the size of dinner plates. "HAOU-SAMA!"

Haou hung back in the corner, his arms crossed and a smug, satisfied look on his face. He rather liked this! It reminded him of torture and bondage, his two favorite things! "It's fine," He whispered, his eyes gleaming with evil.

Struggling against the bonds, Juudai protested, "No, it's not! Let me go!" He looked pleadingly at Haou.

"I don't think I will." Haou's nose turned up in the air, and he proceeded to ignore the poor little brunet's cries. Because he was that much of an asshole.

The doctor laughed to himself and rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "This won't hurt a _bit_." He assured Juudai. But, from the way that he was talking and acting, the boy thought otherwise. Haou turned his attention back over, now interested. Pain never ceased to amuse him.

The doctor pulled some latex gloves on, giggling to himself like a drunken maniac. He opened a strange canister of Something Unpleasant (TM) and swiped a big ol' scoop up on his gloved fingers. Then, he yanked Juudai's shirt up, exposing his swollen belly. Juudai let out a yipe as the doctor smeared the strange concoction all over his abdomen, cackling the whole time.

"What's that?!" Juudai screamed, struggling against the bonds, his face reddening, "HAOU, FOR THE LOVE OF RA HELP ME!!"

Haou looked over in mere disinterest and sniffed indignantly. He was not going to help Juudai. He didn't want to. This was far too amusing. And if it pleased him, then why would he want to do anything to stop it? He looked in the other direction, to show Juudai that he couldn't care less how he felt. Oh, even if Juudai didn't love him, it really, really hurt.

"Haou-sama!" He cried, "You're supposed to love me! Why won't you help me? He's doing something I don't want him to do! He's _violating_ me!"

"Ha, as if I care," Haou grumbled, scowling, "Now stop whining and shut up. You're ruining my entertainment."

"So _that's_ what this is to you?!" Juudai shouted, disbelief clouding his features, "You really have some nerve, did you know that?"

"I like to think of it as a good thing," Haou muttered, gazing at his fingernails indifferently.

"You…You…_monster_!" Juudai screamed.

"Thanks." Haou did not seem to care that much.

"Haou!" Juudai shouted angrily, "If you don't get your sorry ass over here and help me out, I'll…I'll…I won't have sex with you EVER again!!" He panted from screaming so loudly, his face flushing. He was pretty sure that this would catch Haou's attention since nothing else had. After all, he knew how much Haou enjoyed having sex with him.

For a brief moment, Haou seemed alarmed. Then, he thought better of it. A wide smirk spread across his face. "Fine," He told him, his eyes gleaming ever more so, "But if you do that, then I'll just rape you to get my way."

"B-B-But…You can't…You wouldn't…You _won't_…" Juudai stammered, looking mortified.

"Yes, I will if you push me to it. Just shut up. You're giving me a headache." He gave Juudai a warning look, as though to say 'if you don't listen to me I'll whoop your ass when we get home.'

Thankfully for Juudai, he got the message and shut his mouth, though he frowned a great deal. Haou kept staring him down, his expression calm though his eyes were fiery. He was a little disappointed that Juudai had not tried to fight him further because he _so_ enjoyed beating the shit out of him. He had wanted to throw him down the stairs too. It might rid him of that horrid little wretch that was feeding off of _his_ Juudai. Then they could continue their lives in peace. Provided it didn't kill Juudai, of course.

But, oh, it didn't matter, he decided. He was going to hurt Juudai anyway. Because he felt like it and he was evil. And that's what evil people did to their lovers to show their love. Because they didn't know anything else.

In the meantime though, Dr. Doughnut—as Haou had now dubbed him—had begun the examination procedure and had the monitor going. Juudai shifted uncomfortably as the instrument was rolled across his bloated stomach. He bit his lip and tried not to look so nervous, though that was inevitable. His emotions always came out through his face. And he was a bit scared to see the parasite inside of him.

After a moment, there was a low whistle from the doctor. Juudai glanced up anxiously; Haou scowled as his moment of peace was interrupted. He had just been getting to the good part in his fantasy of what he was going to do to Juudai when they got home.

"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!" Dr. Doughnut proclaimed in a hick accent, "You got a whole _litter_ of 'em!"

"WHAT?!" Juudai screamed, lunging up off the table. Thankfully his bonds kept him down so he didn't have a spastic seizure all over the place.

"Calm down, boy," Dr. Doughnut commanded, looking back at the monitor, "Now, let's see here…one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…"

Juudai was really beginning to look worried now. His eyes were tearing over and his breaths were coming shorter and faster. He was on the verge of a panic attack. As he trembled, he mouthed what looked like "Oh my God" over and over, yet no sound actually did come out. Haou looked uncomfortable as well. He kept shifting from one foot to the other, not really knowing what to do or how to react. Part of him was beginning to sympathize with Juudai, and he wanted to go over there and hold him tightly. Another part of him wanted to beat him even harder for carrying so many _bastards_. Even though they were married, Haou still called his future offspring this in his head. All children were bastards in his eyes.

"…nine, ten, eleven, twelve…" Dr. Doughnut continued.

Juudai continued to hyperventilate, but Haou began to feel uncertain. He looked over at the doctor skeptically, his mouth turned sharply downwards. Without a word, he marched over and leaned in the monitor to look for himself. He glared and turned to the doctor.

"Stop scaring him!" He slapped Dr. Doughnut across the face. Because he was the Supreme King and he could.

"Geez, sorry! Can't I have a little bit of fun?!" Dr. Doughnut complained, taking an angry bite of his pastry.

Haou frowned and turned back to the screen. He looked for a minute, then squinted. Slowly, his eyes widened. His face paled and he stumbled away from the screen. "Please tell me it isn't so…"

"Yup!" Dr. Doughnut said enthusiastically, "Congratulations! You're going to be the father of _twins_."

At the word 'twins,' Haou felt a little part of him die inside. He felt almost like upchucking. Now, one baby was bad enough. But _two_?! What the hell was he going to do with, not one, but _two _heirs to _his_ throne? He was screwed if they ever lived long enough! Then again, they might just kill each other…Yes, he still had hope…Either that, or they would take after their 'mother.' What a pity that would be. They'd be even more useless than ever. Juudai was only good for a fuck-toy.

Ok, that wasn't true. He did make a wonderful companion. And Haou felt a little twinge inside his chest at the thought that he was only his chew toy. Because deep inside, he really did love him. He found himself wanting to comfort Juudai. After a quick glance at the still panic-stricken teen, he decided he would do just that.

"I can't do this," Juudai was muttering under his breath, "I can't do this alone…I can't…I can't…I can't…I can do anything but this…Oh Ra…What am I going to do?" He was still breathing hard, hot tears streaming down his face.

"If you can't do it," Dr. Doughnut told him, chewing noisily, "Then we can always go with this." He leaned down under his desk for a moment and came up with a huge pointy stick that looked kind of like a cross between a knife and a spear. "I can just poke 'em outta you."

Juudai's eyes grew even wider. He glanced over at the screen, biting his lip. "NO!" He screamed, causing both Dr. Doughnut and Haou to jump. "I CAN'T LET YOU KILL THEM!" He looked back at the screen, almost even lovingly, "I don't want to do this but…I can't hurt them. They're my kids. I always wanted kids just…not so soon and not…I didn't want to…bear them…" His pretty brown eyes teared over again.

Haou sighed in exasperation. "Dear Ra, why can't he just kill them?"

Juudai turned to Haou, glaring daggers. "You will not touch my precious babies!" He snarled, writhing in the bonds again, "I won't let you ever do that! Now that I've seen them…I just can't bear to give them up. Even if I don't think I can do this, I just can't deal with the alternative. You will not TOUCH them, understand me? Back off!"

Haou's face set into a deep scowl. "YOU WILL NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" He barked, "I WANT THOSE SHITS DEAD! AND IF I WANT THEM DEAD, BY RA I WILL KILL THEM!"

"NO!" Juudai screamed, "Leave them ALONE!"

"Um, if you want to fight, then leave. Eating doughnuts takes peace and harmony and calm. You're disrupting the atmosphere!" Dr. Doughnut complained. "Just pay and leave."

"FINE." Haou roared, ripping the leather bonds off the table and yanking Juudai up. He threw a check at the doctor and dragged Juudai out of the office. "When we get home," He said through his teeth, "You and those, those _bastards_ are DEAD."

Juudai whimpered and tried to struggle and protest, but Haou just hit him over the head, knocking him out. Juudai was going to be in SO much trouble when they got home! He laughed wickedly to himself about his evil scheme. Little did he know just what he was about to do. He was about to make the BIGGEST mistake in his and Juudai's relationship. After all, when it came to others, Juudai got very upset. And now that others' lives were at stake, he just might not put up with that shit anymore.

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**A/N: Errr I have a way of making things dramatic even when they're supposed to be funny. -.- My bad. Anywai, next chapter there will be violence. I'm sorry, it's really not funny about abuse but…the part that's supposed to be funny is Haou's awful characterization. So…ya. Just thought I should throw that out there.**


	6. Chapter 6: Haou Makes a BooBoo

**A/N: Ok…so…I didn't get much response from last chapter. O.o Am I srsly getting boring or something? I don't rly understand…I'm trying to fix my writing style cuz I know it's long-winded. DX But I don't wanna sound stupid either. Is it because the tone of this is more sarcastic (cutting and critical, not to be confused with verbal irony) instead of satirical? Ah well. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX.**

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Chapter 6: Haou Makes a Boo-Boo

"Haou, please have mercy!" Juudai begged as he was dragged down into the torture chamber, "Please! I beg you! I'll do anything you—"

"SILENCE, YOU PEASANT FOOL!!!!" Haou screamed, knocking him upside the head almost as hard as he could.

"Oof!" Juudai slammed against the stone wall, nearly going unconscious. His head spun and he was unable to stand or think properly.

"This is all your fault!" Haou continued to rant, seizing Juudai by the shoulders and shaking him, "I hate you! I HATE YOU!!!" He was clearly on the verge of a massive temper tantrum.

"Haou-sama, please—" Juudai began, only to be slapped sharply across the mouth. Blood splattered everywhere.

"DO NOT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO, BITCH!" Haou shrieked angrily, slapping Juudai again, "YOU'RE the one making my life miserable! Don't tell me what to do! Are you trying to defy me? HUH?! I WILLNOT BOW DOWN TO THE LIKES OF YOU!!!"

"That's not what I—"

"IT IS TOO WHAT YOU MEANT!" Haou continued to scream in CAPS lock, continuing to smack and kick and hit and bite and scratch.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!" Juudai howled as teh angry Haou-beast ripped at his flesh.

"I'm going to kill you!" Haou roared, leaping on Juudai and shoving him to the ground.

Juudai screamed as he went down. But no amount of struggling could save him now! Haou was too damn angry. If he had had neko ears, they would have been flattened against his skull and his fangs would have been showing. Oh, wait, his fangs were showing. Never mind.

"RAWR!" Haou screamed, banging Juudai's head against the wall as though he were a rabid monkey trying to crack open a coconut.

Once he had nicely bloodied up the wall and made Juudai completely incapable of comprehensive thought—and perhaps given him a good amount of brain damage—Haou pulled him to his feet. Only, he did not carry him upstairs to recover. Oh, no, he was still angry! So what did he do? What else would a raging Haou-sama do? He snapped all the more!

Dragging Juudai towards the center of the room, he frothed at the mouth, threatening to use the torture devices on him. Juudai would have begged him not to…had he been able to talk. As it was, his mouth was cut, bleeding and swollen along with the rest of his face. He had a black eye as well. And he was disoriented. It did nothing to tug at Haou's heart though. He didn't have one.

"DIE!" He roared, throwing Juudai down on a table and tying him up.

Juudai's head lolled to the side and he made a strange noise that sounded like a cross between a dying rhinoceros and a car siren. It only made Haou more irritated. Sound was annoying! So he took out a flamethrower and lighted Juudai up like a Christmas tree.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Juudai screamed as he thrashed.

Haou laughed cruelly and let him BURRRRN for several moments before tilting a container of boiling oil on him. It didn't put the fire out. It made it worse until red hot blisters covered every inch of the poor brunet.

"MWAHAHAHA!" Haou's left eye twitched in crazy delight at the pain he was causing. "YES! YES! MOAR MOAR!!"

"Haou-sama, STOP!" Juudai screamed, "If you don't stop…I'll…I'll—!" However, he just was completely incapable of speech. He was in too much pain to think of a bad threat.

"You can't do anything!" Haou snarled, his upper lip curling as he hunched over. He rather looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame when he was positioned like that. "Are you threatening me?!"

Ooooh, Juudai had done it now! He seized a nearby whip and began to lash the boy mercilessly. Juudai cried out in great pain, but that did nothing to melt the beast's heart. Even worse, as he was whipping him, Haou yanked out a large sword and began to cut and chop at him too. It was just not bad enough to kill him. But Juudai rather wished it would.

But that was not the end of it either. The things that followed will not be described in detail, for they are simply too horrible. To make a long story short, Haou got to use every single one of his torture machines, and he beat Juudai with his fists as well. His grand finale involved the iron maiden. And, miraculously, Juudai survived. Haou was rather disappointed by this, and decided to compensate with MOAR beatings. It lasted well into the night. And that was when he finally decided that he would raep Juudai and then kill the children. Sounded like a good plan to him.

The raeping was both humiliating and painful. Haou pounded angrily into him, shoving him against the mattress and causing the headboard to thwack the wall. It left a good sized dent in the wall, too. And no matter how much Juudai screamed or pleaded, the torment continued. Eventually, Haou grew tired of the cries and just banged Juudai's head against the bedpost until he passed out. Then, satisfied at the amount of blood staining the sheets, he stood up.

"This is the end of the road for you suckers," He muttered under his breath, grinning maniacally as he tore a bedpost off the frame and raised the jagged edge over Juudai's stomach. "Mwahahaha!"

Thankfully for Juudai, a plothole came along and woke him up. And when he saw Haou standing over him, about to slam the post into his stomach, he rolled out of the way. The post pierced through the mattress and created a huge indention in the wood floor. Juudai stared with wide eyes.

"Get back here!" Haou screamed, one eye bulging slightly more than the other, looking crazed. He frothed at the mouth…again.

"No!" Juudai leapt off the bed and took off, running for his life.

Haou roared angrily and rushed after him, swinging the bedpost as though it was a baseball bat and Juudai was the baseball. Juudai, however injured he was, managed to slip into the room with the interdimensional portal, and jumped through it just in time. With a cry of rage, Haou tried to jump after him, but he accidentally swung the post too hard as he did so, taking himself out.

Juudai landed safely on the other side, in some bushes outside the Obelisk boys' dorm. He lay there panting for a moment, then slowly picked himself up. Grimacing, he straightened his back out, which cracked loudly in protest. Then, he picked the twigs and leaves from his hair. Looking around for some place to hide before Haou came running after him, Juudai tried to think of some way he would be safe. He was still in pain and injured, so he could not move very quickly, but he thought if push came to shove he could elude him.

Somehow…

Ok, maybe not.

BUT the point was that he could try.

He limped inside the dorm, finally deciding to seek shelter there. Of course, it was not without MOAR animosity. Because who else should find him but those two bratty Obelisk kids from season one that no one remembers.

"Hey, kid, what do you think you're doing here on _our_ turf?!" The guy with the black flippy hair asked.

"Yeah, you're a smelly _Osiris_! Haha!" The other guy sneered.

They both took a few minutes to laugh at him, then grew bored.

"Hey, let's throw water on him dramatically!" The Flippy Hair Guy suggested.

"Great idea!"

"Not again!" Juudai wailed, running as they flung buckets of water at him. "AH! IT BURNS!"

"It's water, you dork, it doesn't _burn_," The Other Guy snarled.

"Yeah, you're stupid!"

They high-fived and laughed like it was the greatest insult ever invented in the history of mankind. Juudai was not amused. He whirled around to take them out, but phailed miserably. For he slipped and slid on the watery floor and went headfirst into the staircase. They laughed even harder and kicked at him as he clung to the doorway, trying to hold himself up.

"Dude, this is boring," The Flippy Hair Guy finally said.

"Yeah, he's no fun when he's limp like that," The Other Guy agreed.

"This is wizzack; we're out," The Flippy Hair Guy kissed his fingers and made a sideways peace sign, "Peace, yo'."

They wandered off to go pick up chicks and humiliate themselves yet again acting like Dumb and Dumber.

Slowly, Juudai pulled himself up and hobbled up the first step. He almost fell over. Having pretty much so done the splits when he had slipped like that, he was definitely doing worse than he had been. He only hoped he didn't make things even more horrible by doing something like tumbling down the stairs. Which he almost did. But thankfully, he managed to catch hold of the railing and pull his aching body up.

Groaning, he began the long, slow ascent. And it felt like it took forever. In fact, with each step he took, the end seemed to grow farther away. He broke out into a cold sweat and swallowed hard. His eyes widened to the size of saucers. Would it EVER be over?

Finally, he made it to the landing at the top of the steps. He took a moment to pant like a dog on a hot day, then dragged his sore, beaten, bruised, swollen pregnant body down the hallway. It was all he could do to move. He was in so much pain…And there was only one person he thought could help him at the moment.

Whimpering slightly, he stopped in front of the door and looked at it with large, watery eyes, like some forlorn puppy. Then, he gave a few knocks, and waited.

"Hmmm?" A sleepy-looking Johan answered the door. His eyes were still closed and there was a bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. Certainly not the most attractive thing in the world. But to Juudai, he looked like he cast off an ethereal white glow.

Seeing his best friend made Juudai lose it even more than he already had. He whimpered again, then wailed. "JOHAN!" He seized the other boy and clung, weeping with wild abandon.

This, of course, woke Johan up immediately. Poor defenseless Juudai needed help! He sprang into seme mode. "What's wrong, angel?" He held Juudai at arms' length, opening his eyes to look at him. When he saw Juudai's condition, he gasped. Of course, he looked better then since he was a bishie and everyone knows bishies can't stay ugly for long. But still! "WHO DID THIS TO YOU? I SWEAR I WILL KILL THEM MY KAWAII ANGLE!!111!322!"

Juudai looked up at his manly master with teary eyes. "I…I don't know…if I should tell you…" He whispered shyly, looking down at the floor.

"Juu-chan, you have to tell me!" Johan insisted, cupping his face in his hands and rubbing his cheeks with his thumbs, "If you don't then you might get hurt again!"

"It's going to happen anyway because I'm worthless." Juudai drooped in Johan's arms and sobbed.

"No, no, no, baby, you're not worthless!" Johan stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth soothingly in his large, muscular arms. "Why don't you stay with me tonight and then tomorrow we can talk about it. Ok?"

Juudai sniffed loudly. "I…I don't know…" He bit his lip. "What if you hurt me?"

"Juu-chan!" Johan looked mortified. He Le Gasped. "How could you think I would do such a thing to my perfect angel?"

Juudai blushed a deep crimson red as Johan leaned over and pecked him on his cute-as-a-button nosey and goo-goo-gah-gahed over him as though he were a wittle, itty, bitty baby. But that was A-OK because THIS was his Jo-kun! And Jo-kun had EVERY right to treat him like a sniveling little child and an idiot, because he WAS one.

Even though he had just been through possibly the worst hell of his life, Juudai giggled as Johan tickled his chin and gave him tiny little kisses on his adorable baby face. Johan just made him feel better! He could cure anything! Because he was a seme and that gave him superpowers over his weak little uke!

"Come on, Juu-Juu-chan," Johan cooed, taking him firmly by the hand, "Just spend the night. It won't hurt anything. I'll keep you safe."

"Are…are you sure you won't let anything hurt me, Jo-kun?" Juudai blinked his huge, dark vacant eyes. Just by looking in them one could tell he could not think for himself.

"Of course! I'll never let anything hurt my koi," Johan breathed, fondling Juudai's cheek in one hand while brushing his lips to the brunette's forehead.

It was as though Juudai was in a trance when he looked into those dazzling emerald eyes. (And AHEM he kind of was…) Normally, he would not be behaving quite this OOC…but…something about Johan just made him totally lose it. And not in a good way. What was happening to him? Why was he feeling so weak and unable to resist? It wasn't _entirely_ a feeling of love that was making him act this way. It was as though there were something else…beyond the surface…something…dun dun dun DUNNNN!!! LE GASP. EBIL.

…Well, that's enough _foreshadowing_ for now (Yes, pointed out because you twits are probably not smart enough to figure it out for yourself. Not really. You have brains). Back to the story.

"Jo-kun…" Juudai dug his fingers into the fabric of the other's nightshirt, his face flaming again. "You really…think I'm your…koi?" His eyes sparkled brightly. It didn't matter that a Johan was calling him a fish and he should therefore be insulted. To him, it was a great honor! His Jo-Jo-ma-kun had given him a pet-name! Of such a wise and old and respected creature!

Uhh…Ok, so screw the fact it wasn't entirely romantic when put like that. Pretend it was.

"Of course you're my koi!" Johan told him, his eyes wide, "Why would you not be? My dearest Juudai…" He paused, a gentle, kind smile tugging the corners of his mouth upwards and he touched the brunette's cheek again. "…I love you…"

A sharp gasp caught in Juudai's throat. His eyes were as wide as pizza pies. And that was when he knew it was _amore_. "Jo-kun…I…I…always wanted to tell you but I was too shy to…I've always loved you too." His face burned as he admitted it, and he buried it in Johan's shoulder.

While Juudai's face was buried and he could not see, a huge ebil grin spread across Johan's face. YES! He had Juudai wrapped around his finger! This would be easier than stealing candy from a baby…

But in the meantime, he pushed aside the nagging feeing from deep within to do Something Awful. Because that was not entirely him. There was something…someone…inside him making him want to make things worse than he already wanted to make them (though perhaps not intentionally). And that someone wanted out!

"Oh, don't worry, Juu-chan," Johan said quietly, rubbing the other boy's hair again, "There's no need to be embarrassed if we feel the same. Listen." He took Juudai's hands and sat him down on the bed. Juudai's face reddened at this action. "I think you should get away from Haou."

It was Juudai's turn to Le Gasp. "How did you—"

Johan put a finger to Juudai's lips and sighed dramatically. "Oh, Juu-chan! So naïve! It's _obvious_. Please don't hide these things from me."

Juudai blushed in humiliation. "But I thought—"

"Shush, angel," Johan pinched his lips together, preventing him from speaking. "Do not speak now. I will not permit it."

"Yes, Master," Juudai sighed obediently, hanging his head in gentle submission.

"Good. Now…just try to get some rest, Ok?"

"Ok." Juudai lay back on the bed and closed his eyes.

Johan lay next to him and pulled the sheets over them. He kept staring at the poor little bruised brunette as he slept. He had a few ideas running through his mind. And Juudai looked so helpless right now. Because he _was_ helpless! Well, that certainly didn't help things! Juudai just had this natural aura about him that made everyone want to RAEP him. His smexy factor was off the charts (whatever those were). And Johan WANTED him.

"I will get you, my darlingest pet," Johan whispered, gingerly stroking his Juu-Juu-chan's hair as his eyes gleamed and glistened emerald in the dark. "Soon…"

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**A/N: X.x Ok, first off…I am sorry about the abuse. Because that's really not supposed to be funny. D: I feel kinda bad about it, actually. But as ironic as it may seem, it needs to happen in order for something ELSE to happen (that I can't tell you about) but you will understand. XD And as for Johan. O.o Well…heh heh…let's just say Juudai is about to make his own boo-boo. But don't worry. The pairing will NOT change. NO. NEVER. Because I lurve selfshippy moar than spiritshippy. SO THAR. D8 It makes even less sense. But in this case, that's what I want! D8 Confused yet? Haha good. C:**


	7. Ch 7: It's Juudai's Turn to Screw Up

**A/N: Mmm I'm rly asking for it with this one…Yay angsty/dramatic humor…Idk what else to say. XD**

**OH wait! One other thing! This chapter is rated T Plus for extra sexuality. But it's not enough to be M : /**

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Disclaimer: I do not own GX.**

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Chapter 7: It's Juudai's Turn to Royally Screw Up

All was calm and peaceful those wee hours of the morning. Johan and Juudai were fast asleep, curled up against each other. They both seemed to be happily dreaming away. And both seemed content. At the moment, Johan was spooning Juudai, and his arms were tightly wrapped around the brunet's swollen waist. Juudai was all snuggled into his embrace, a small smile on his lips. The perfect scene, right? Well, that was about to be shattered.

Gradually, Juudai's smile began to fade. His brow furrowed; he began to look distressed. He stirred a little in his sleep, softly mumbling and tossing.

"No…no…"

— _His dream —_

_Fire was everywhere in the room. The only thing that wasn't burning was his bed. Fearfully, he held the covers up to his nose, tears pricking his eyes as the flames licked at the bedpost, crackling wickedly. He whimpered deep within his throat as the heat pressed down closer on him. Sweat poured down his face and he began to tremble._

_"Haou-sama…help me…" The whisper was hoarse and frightened._

_A shadow could be seen looming beyond the fire. Could it be help? Juudai tried to scream out to the person, but his voice caught in his throat and nothing but a squeak came out. Shivering, he clutched the covers tighter, trying with all his might to be heard._

_The shadow drew nearer, growing darker as it did so. Slowly, it revealed itself as it stepped through the wall of flames. An evil laugh could be heard, resounding off the walls, closing in on Juudai._

_The poor little brunet stared up with teary eyes at the identical reflection before him. His mouth opened and closed. "Haou…"_

_Haou narrowed his eyes, which were golden as the fire around them. His mouth curved in a devious smirk, and he raised his right hand. In his tightly curled fingers was grasped a lengthy dagger. He waved it back and forth menacingly. "Juudai…my precious Juudai…" It was said mockingly._

_"Haou-sama, no! Please help me!" Juudai cried, backing away against the headboard, heart pounding in terror._

_Haou cocked his head curiously to one side. "Now, now, now, why would I want to do that?" He put a finger on his lower lip, the smirk revealing his sharp, gleaming white teeth. "Why would I when I set this up to kill you?"_

_"B-But…"_

_His eyes seemingly softened, as did his smile. "Didn't you always expect this to happen? After all, I really could care less about you. I don't care for anyone!" The last part was screamed, and a maniacal gleam came to his eyes. He laughed loudly as he slashed at the flames, the fire roaring and rising higher as though to emphasize his rage and insanity. His long, ragged, singed red cape flowed behind him, the dark shadows from the flickering fire emphasizing his wickedly delicate features. "Juudai…you really are in hell…I am the king of hell!"_

_He closed in closer and closer along with the fire, which strangely never enveloped nor burned him. Juudai screamed as a thousand tiny blades seemed to sever through his nerves and melt his flesh together in blistering, oozing red wounds…_

— _End Dream Sequence —_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" Juudai shot up out of bed, panting and covered in cold sweat. "Oh, my Ra…Oh my Ra…OH MY RA." He put a hand over his heart, which was practically jumping out of his chest.

"GWAH!" Johan toppled backwards out of bed, his legs splayed in the air. He landed to the floor with an unsoundly thud. "Juudai!" Frantically, he scrambled back up on the mattress and thrust his arms around the shivering brunette, holding him close and rocking him back and forth. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Jo-kun…" Juudai gasped. He grasped Johan's hand, then pressed it against his still thumping heart, as though that might cure its painful beating. "It was awful…"

"What was awful, angle?" Johan looked at him with a concerned mint gaze.

Juudai shuddered at the memory and leaned back against Johan's chest, panting heavily. "Haou-sama…" He felt his eyes glaze over with tears again just at the thought. It hurt to think that his Haou-sama would do that to him. And the worst part was…he knew that Haou would. "Haou-sama…"

Juudai lifted his trembling hand slowly, as though to touch an apparition in front of him. He slowly let it drop, his chin quivering. "Oh my Ra…Johan…Haou-sama…he…he _would_ burn me to death! He wants to kill me! I know it!" He paused for a wracking sob. "He's probably using psychological torture on me now! He's horrible! He hates me!"

Johan stroked Juudai's hair, pulling him into his lap. "There, there, koi," He soothed, "You're going to be all right. Haou hates everyone."

This didn't help. Juudai's lip trembled harder, his eyes watering all the more. And then…he BAWed. "Jo-kun!"

"I'm sorry!" Johan looked distressed. He flapped his arms about like a bird, and flailed. "I'm so sorry! Juu-Juu-chan! What can I ever do to right my horrible wrong?"

"_HOLD_ me, Jo-kun," Juudai gasped dramatically, flinging himself back into Johan's arms and painfully crashing against his chest.

"OH, _Juu-chan_." Johan's arms whipped around the other boy, and he cut off all breathing. "I will _never let go_."

There was a strange, and slightly creepy, silence for a few moments. They only held each other tightly, their eyes closed to emphasize their drama. Johan had his chin rested on top of Juudai's fluffy head to exert his dominance over the smaller brunette. And Juudai ate it up. He had always been treated like a weak little uke. He didn't know it was wrong anymore! And he had no idea…what was coming. He had no idea that Johan was going to—

Wait…Can't say that! That would spoil it! Never mind. Back to the story.

"Juudai?"

"Yes, Johan?" Juudai leaned back and looked up into his seme's face, his eyes half-lidded and heavily lashed. He batted his eyelashes at Johan and pursed his lips, trying to look like a sexy woman. The sad thing was…he was succeeding.

"I just can't…help myself anymore…" Johan grasped Juudai's arms, his own eyes half-closing and gleaming as he leaned forward. "I _need_ you."

"Oh, Johan…I _need_ you, too," Juudai confessed, "I need…to feel…loved." He drooped a little, and dropped the act. "I'm…lonely…" The last part _was_ genuine at least. "And scared…"

Johan bit his lip. What could he do to help? He hugged Juudai again and kissed him on the neck. "I'll do whatever I can to help you, my darling." He promised, looking sincere.

Juudai looked up at him. "And you won't ever hurt me?"

"No, baby. I'll never break your heart…I'll never make you cry!" Johan cooed, rubbing his shoulders and leaning his face closer to Juudai's neck again. He pressed his mouth to the inside of the brunette's neck, giving it a hot, passionate kiss.

"Un, Johan…" Juudai moaned slightly at the feeling. His eyes closed and he leaned back into it.

Johan proceeded to suck on Juudai's neck as though he was a vampire and Juudai was his victim. But that was Ok! Because it was hot to Juudai. And it was making him all hot, too. He was soooo desperate to be loved. It didn't matter anymore. He loved Johan; Johan loved him. Right? …Right?!

Never mind. Just so long as he _thought_ Johan loved him.

"I love you…" Johan whispered, his warm breath tickling Juudai's ear.

"Oooooo," Juudai shivered violently. "Ra, you're such a _turn-on_."

Johan smirked and looked at the boy seductively. "Hm, I'm glad you think so." He ran his tongue down Juudai's cheek and neck, down to his collarbone, then growled, "I'm going to make you mine." He bit into the tender flesh there and sucked while running his index finger over Juudai's clothed nipple.

"Ahhhhh!" Juudai moaned loudly, and obnoxiously, at the action. He blushed like mad. "Johan…we can't…I mean…"

"Yes, we can," Johan told him, locking his gaze with Juudai's.

And that was the fatal mistake. Looking into Johan's eyes, Juudai couldn't say no. No, he really couldn't. Johan wouldn't let him. How, you ask? Aren't you demanding to know everything!

"Oh, Ra…Oh, Ra…" Juudai breathed as Johan's experienced fingers slipped up his shirt and played with his hardened nipples. His breaths began to come faster and more ragged. He felt this yearning burning deep inside him…He needed sex, and he needed it _now_. If he didn't get fucked, he was going to get cranky! That was what happened, after all. "Ra, Johan, _fuck me_." He rubbed his ass all over Johan's lap.

"Uuuunnnn, _yeah_, baby! That's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it uh-huh uh-huh!" Johan began to grind back against Juudai, running his hands swiftly over every inch of Juudai's skin that he could touch, all the while gasping like a fish out of water.

"Please don't drag this out," Juudai moaned, tilting his head back as Johan licked and nipped at every bit of flesh within his mouth's reach. "Just get to it, dammit!"

"Oooh, my little kitten is impatient!" Johan chided, wagging a finger at him, "Naughty, naughty!"

"We've already established…_gasp gasp_…that we love each other…_pant pant_…Now can we…_huff huff_…please get to the…_GASP_…fucking?"

Johan smiled gently, his eyes regarding Juudai tenderly. And yet…there was something…EBIL…*cough cough*…beneath the surface. "What, you don't want to take it slow, hm?" He asked, running his forefingers in circles over Juudai's nipples. It was like he was _trying_ to lay a guilt trip on him.

"Well, uh…if we're being honest…no?" Juudai blushed deeply in shame. Then, as though to try to justify himself, "I just can't help it, dammit! You're smexy!"

Johan looked taken aback, hurt. "Juudai…I thought better of you…"

"But, but, but…" Juudai said quickly, fumbling over his words, "I—"

"Pffft," Johan put a finger to his lips, shrugging. "For Ra's sake, Juu-Juu-chan. You talk too much. If that's the way you really feel about it…" He paused dramatically. Then: "Hey, I don't really fucking care! Let's go!" He shoved Juudai down to the mattress, moaning at the very thought of ravishing him.

Juudai moaned in response to Johan's moan as he was stripped of every bit of clothing in a record breaking five seconds. Within another five seconds, Johan had torn his clothes off as well, and tossed them aside like a professional stripper might. His eyes gleamed in the dark as he smirked, licking his lips in anticipation.

"Mmmm, yeah, baby!" His greedy eyes took in every inch of Juudai's exposed body.

"Ooooooooooohhhhhhh, Joooooohaaaaaaaaaaaan," Juudai moaned, gazing up at his soon-to-be lover.

"Ra, you're so _sexy_ when you're horny!" Johan exclaimed, grabbing his legs and holding them up in the air, "And _damn_ I didn't think it could be possible, but you're even _sexier_ with that baby bump!"

Juudai's entire face turned red. "You really think so?"

"Yeah," Johan breathed, leaning in the brunette's face closer, "I love a man that can carry a baby."

"Well, I'm not gonna argue with that."

They proceeded to have a hot make-out session on the bed, which consisted of much lip smacking and smashing as well as tongue. They practically slobbered and drooled all over each other, moaning loudly the whole time. And it wasn't long before Johan was ready to go all the way, and Juudai was too.

Right as Johan was about to, er, do something, Juudai pulled away from the heated kiss and gazed up at him. "Jo-kun…" He said in a trembling voice, "Do you think…this is…wrong?"

Johan blinked and looked as though the possibility had never occurred to him. They each took a moment to ponder the morality of the situation, as well as the consequences.

Then, looking at each other, they grinned. "Naaaahhhh."

Nothing would go wrong! It was all right because they were in WUV.

So Juudai had no qualms about it when Johan got in-between his legs, and fulfilled the deed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! JOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!" Juudai's screams filled the dorm.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Johan moaned.

"FASTER, JO-KUN, _FASTER_!!!" Juudai raked his nails down the other's back, leaving angry red marks in their wake.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!" Johan's moan trailed off into a high-pitched womanly sound. He really should have been the uke because he was screaming like a girl.

"HARDER, JO-KUN, _HARDER_!!!" Juudai grunted, his breath hitching in his throat. "OH!!!!"

"BABY! KOI! JUU-CHAN!" Johan squeezed him in his muscular arms, kissing him all over his face and accidentally scratching him every time he grabbed onto him.

"LOVE MUFFIN!!! SWEETY CAKE! JO-KUN!!!"

By then, the bed was rocking. The headboard was whacking against the wall. The bed springs were creaking and groaning in protest so much it was almost like a symphony. The nightstand was vibrating. And the lamps were jolting and thudding. And the people in that dorm were NOT happy.

"HEY!" Someone in the adjoining room shouted, banging on the wall, "Could you people keep it down?! TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO BE QUIET." He was referring to Johan, who was squeaking and squealing like a pig.

They paid him no attention. They just kept screaming and going at it like there was no tomorrow. And at that rate, there would be no tomorrow for them because either 1) they were going to kill each other or 2) their fellow dorm-mates and Chronos-sensei would kill them. Remarkably, no one thought to call the matter to Chronos-sensei's attention. He probably would have just video-taped it anyway.

"AH! JOHAN! JOHAN BABY! ANGLE! JOHAN!" Juudai thrashed and writhed and threw his head from side to side. He panted and moaned and sweated like crazy.

"YES! YES! SAY MY NAME! AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_AAAAAH_!" Johan shrieked like a siren.

"I CAN'T…I CAN'T…OH BABY I CAN'T…" Juudai gasped, kicking desperately. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. "BABY, I CAN'T STAND IT! I'M….AHHH!!! UUUNNNN!! AH! OH!! KOI! I'M GOING TO….AHHHHHHH!!!"

"NOT YET, ANGLE, PLEASE NOT YET! AHHHH!" Johan screamed, "I haven't gotten my sexual satisfaction yet." He blinked.

Juudai stopped to look up at him. "How long will that take?"

Johan shrugged. "Beats me. I was hoping we could go for another hour or two."

"It's Ok. I can do it." Juudai assured him.

"But," Johan said, confused, "I thought you were about to cum."

"I am," Juudai replied matter-of-factly. And a little too freakishly calm for the excited state he was supposed to be in…

"But how does that…?"

"I can cum more than once in a row. Sorta like multiple orgasms." Juudai explained.

"Ah," Johan grinned. "I see now. It all makes sense."

"So, keep goin', cuz OOOH me so horny!" Juudai demanded.

"You got it, Juu-Juu-chan!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

"KOI!"

_--4 Hours Later--  
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"OOOOOOOO, BABY, I'M GOING TO CUM _AGAIN_!!" Juudai shouted, tossing his head wildly from side to side.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! ME TOO!"

They both screamed louder than they had all night, their voices joining together in perfect harmony, as the final wave passed over them and they shuddered in final EPIC release. Then, they lay still, panting and covered in buckets of sweat as they lay there, their bodies entwined in the semen coated sheets.

"Oh, my RA, Juudai. That was AMAZING," Johan remarked, smiling fondly down at him. "Who knew you could go _fifteen_ times in a row? We HAVE to do that again." He kissed Juudai on the forehead.

Blushing, Juudai grinned up at him and nuzzled the nape of his neck. "Aw, Jo-kun," He clasped his arms about the other's neck. "I can't help myself around you. You just help me unleash my one, true talent."

"You must be a sex-god," Johan said in awe.

"Well," Juudai chuckled, "I do have _lots_ of practice."

Johan laughed softly. "I bet you do, my little buttercup." He fondled the brunette's cheek in his hand, then let his chin drop when he glanced at the clock. "We should get a little sleep, baby. We have to go to class in a few hours."

"Screw class," Juudai yawned, stretching. "I want to stay here with you."

"Awww…."

Lying on their sides, they wrapped their arms around each other, gazing lovingly into each others' eyes, nuzzling noses. There were practically hearts floating above their heads. A few moments were wasted kissing each other gently and baby-talking each other, then, they started to drift off to sleep. Without cleaning up the sticky mess they now lay in…

_--Meanwhile Back With Haou-sama…--_

"I can't believe that little brat got away from me!" The king growled, storming down the path towards the Osiris dorm. He rubbed the bruised bump on his head and groaned. "Ow…Why'd I have to be so STUPID?!"

Not only was Haou in a very bad mood—having humiliated himself in front of himself by knocking himself out—but he was also feeling sore and remorseful. Since when did he feel remorseful? Well, he couldn't think of it that much. He was more concerned about Juudai. He cringed thinking back to the expression the poor brunet had had on his face as he had gone absolutely bananas on him.

"It's not MY fault I have a screw loose!" Haou continued to mutter, looking sullen. He really was in denial. "I hope I didn't accidentally kill him..."

As much as he would have liked to have killed Juudai earlier, he really didn't want that in the end. He loved Juudai very much, and he felt a guilty stab at his black hole of a heart now that he thought of the brunet _dying._ He felt a little sick. What if Juudai _had_ crawled off somewhere to die?! He pushed it back.

"I'm sure he's fine," He assured himself, heading up the stairs of the dorm, "I'm sure he's in his room, fast asleep and—"

He paused, having opened the door, only to find no one there. For a moment, he felt his stomach sinking down to his boots. Where was he? What if he was in the bushes? Lying on the side of the road? Being fucked senseless by Chronos-sensei? Sighing, he shut the door again and headed down the steps. Well, there was _one_ other place he could possibly be. And that was with his faglet of a best friend: Johan.

"Great," He grumbled angrily, stomping up dust with each step, "He's with _him_ again. Ra, I _hate_ that boy! If Juudai wasn't such good friends with him I would've killed him by now…"

In fact…that brought him to the question. Why had he _not_ killed Johan? Even if it _was_ for Juudai's sake. Ah, what did it matter anyway?

However, he was about to wish he _had_ killed Johan the moment he had gotten his own body…

"As soon as I see Juudai," Haou muttered to himself, "I'm going to slap him for leaving. Then I'm going to say I'm s…s…so…sor…Whatever! I'll get it right when I get there." He stormed into the Obelisk dorm, in a huff.

The TwoGuysThatNoOneRemembers were sitting on the staircase, playing patty-cake when Haou came in. They looked up, then exchanged a surprised glance, before grinning wolfishly. "Hay, lookie thar! Another one!" The Flippy Hair Guy said.

"Huh huh huh," Laughed The Other Guy, wiping some snot from his nose, "I bet he likes cold water."

"You read my mind"

They heaved and hoed until they had dragged out a twenty-gallon container of ice water from beneath the staircase. Snickering, The Other Guy attached it to a nearby pulley system that they had spent all their chick-less night constructing, then hoisted it up high in the air. It teetered and tottered before coming to a halt over Teh Almighty Supreme King's head, then ever so SLOOOOWLLLYYY started to tip over.

"Hell, no." Said Haou-sama.

All of a sudden, a dark burst of energy shot forth from him, and his eyes glowed like golden flame. The two guys stared as the dark wave of power licked up the water and carried it through the air in a swift, swirling motion, before dumping it over their heads. They screamed.

"AH! We're melting! We're melting!" They shouted as they ran around in circles like chickens with their heads cut off.

"BAH! _Foolishness_!" Haou remarked, and marched up the stairs, harrumphing the entire way.

He relaxed a little as he was walking down the hall. Soon he would see his precious Juudai. He could already sense the brunet's presence nearby. Odd, though, his spirit seemed exhausted. Oh, well, he supposed a night of torture could do that to a person. He reached Johan's door and placed his hand on the knob, about to open it and walk in on a most unwanted scene…

_--Back With Johan and Juudai (it's for suspense, OK?! D8 )--_

"Mmmm, Jo-kun," Juudai mumbled in his sleep, nuzzling his fuzzy's neck. The soft teal locks of hair tickled his nose, and he sneezed slightly.

Johan shivered lightly at the contact of Juudai's velveteen nose on his skin. Being the pervylicious smex-god he was, it turned him ON! But he soon changed his mind when Juudai sneezed.

"Aw, kawaii-desu!" He squee-ed softly, pulling the half-asleep brunette closer to the warmth of his body, "Chu~!" He kissed Juudai's nose and smiled.

"Jo-kun," Juudai mumbled, rubbing his eyes sleepily, "I love you…" He buried his face in Johan's bare chest and yawned.

"My kawaii-est angle, I love you too," Johan purred, rubbing his hair as his eyes flashed mischievously. He sounded like a neko…

There was a scritch-scratch at the door, and Johan diverted his attention for one moment. And during that one moment, Juudai's eyes shot open all the way, his senses returning. "Oh, my Ra," he whispered, covering his mouth with his hand.

"What's wrong, koi?" Johan glanced back down at Juudai, growing concerned.

"Johan…" Juudai blinked, looking shocked, "I love you, truly I do, but…do you have any idea what we've just done?"

Johan blinked for a second, then proceeded to twist his face up in horrified remorse. "Oh, Ra, Juudai! You're right! I loved you so much I just…don't know…I lost my mind!" He paused for a moment, then murmured in a sexy whisper he _hoped_ was soft enough to get the message subliminally across, "But we already started so we should do it again…"

For a moment, Juudai's eyes regained that vacant sparkle. Then, he slowly began to realize what Johan had said. He stared at the other boy for a long moment, his jaw unhinged. "_Johan_!"

The teal-haired duelist grinned weakly. "No?"

"Well, I…I don't know…" Juudai seemed torn.

"You _do_ love me, don't you?"

"I do!" The Osiris student's face crumpled in distress. "I love you very much…" And this time, he was being serious…He was offering his very heart and soul to Johan, keeping his fingers crossed that the other was just joking when he had said such a careless thing.

Johan's face remained smooth but his murky eyes reflected the inner skepticism and turmoil. Juudai bit his lip, looking up at him, then leaned over slowly tilting his head, allowing their lips to brush in a gentle, loving kiss. It was short, but sweet. Johan half-heartedly returned it. What fun was it if it wasn't heated and erotic?

"You don't believe me?" Juudai asked quietly, pulled away so that their lips were only inches apart. He kept his hand on the back of Johan's head, his fingers gently rubbing the hair. Gazing up at the other through half-lidded eyes, he felt a bubbling sort of anxiety rising within him. _"Oh, Ra…What if…?" _He licked his lips nervously, his heart thudding in his chest.

Johan pulled his body up against his own, pressing their hips tightly together. "But, Juudai, sex is important to—"

And that was when IT happened. The moment that none of the parties involved would ever forget the duration of their short, short lives. The door swung open, with an unwelcome person on the other side.

"Juudai, I—HOLY FUCKING RA!!"

"HOLY SHIIIIIITTTT!!!!" Johan and Juudai screamed, hanging onto each other for dear life.

Dun dun dun DUN! Haou-sama…had RETURNED!! And he was noooooot happy. He stood in the doorway, gawking for the longest time. Nothing could be said. There was nothing TO say.

Finally, only one tiny word escaped Haou's lips. And it was uttered in a strained breath, one that indicated the very life was being choked out of him. "Juu…dai…"

_TO BE CONTINUED! 8D_

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**A/N: OMGZ DRAMAZ PLZ 8DD HUR! C: Sorry bout that NASTEHNESS I just hope you enjoyed it anyway. XD It was hella fun to write. C: Poor Haou-sama though. D8**


	8. Chapter 8: The Beginning of The Truth

**A/N: WTF I haven't updated anything in so long. D: I hate writer's block. Anyway, this chapter isn't the MOST exciting but it's the beginning of the turning point and some funny ass shit is next chapter. XD So whatever. And I actually had this done a few days ago but I'm so stupid I forgot to post it. T.T Sorry.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own GX.**

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Chapter 8: The Beginning of The Truth

The three boys continued to stare at one another for several agonizing moments, in complete silence. Juudai opened his mouth, as though wanting to explain, but it just helplessly flapped open and shut. Johan's mouth remained agape, his eyes wide and darting about nervously. He knew he was about to get it. Slowly, he sank down behind Juudai, trying to hide from Haou's inevitable wrath.

The king took a deep, shaky breath and let it out all at once in a heaving sigh. Then, his face turned red, and he stormed over to their bedside. In one swift motion, he had swiped Juudai out of the bed and yanked him to his feet. Then, glaring down at Johan, he snarled, "Burn in hell." Having said that, the Supreme King proceeded to violently bitchslap him. It was all he could think of to do at the moment. Then, turning to Juudai: "Get dressed."

"Haou, I—"

"Get the fuck dressed!" Haou screamed, throwing his clothes at him.

Juudai's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Y-yes sir!" He hurriedly jerked his clothes on, almost tripping over his pants.

"Come on, bitch." Haou seized him by the shoulder in a vise-like grip, and directed him towards the door, his expression one of utmost fury.

As they walked down the hall, silently, his expression slowly faded. The burning wrath in his eyes extinguished, and was replaced by some sort of foreign sorrow. He looked forlorn. Juudai felt guilty and wanted to apologize, but the words just wouldn't come out. It just didn't seem right to say anything at the moment.

In fact, nothing was exchanged between the two even after they got back into the castle. Haou shoved him roughly into a guest bedroom, and started to close the door. Quickly, Juudai stuck his foot in it. Haou did not lift his gaze to meet Juudai's, but his body language spoke multitudes of how he felt inside. He stiffened involuntarily, and hunched his shoulders. He wanted to kick Juudai back but…couldn't bring himself to move. He couldn't bring himself to do anything more than stare down at the ground.

"I…I'm sorry…" The words finally escaped Juudai's lips. But it just wasn't enough. It could never aptly describe _how_ sorry he was. "I…I don't know what happened to me. I would never have cheated on you in my right mind…never! No matter how badly you treated me and no matter how much I didn't love you…I don't do those kinds of things."

"But you did." Haou finally glanced up at him, expression unreadable. But those eyes…such intense burning agony. Juudai had to catch his breath in his throat. If he had had any doubts that Haou loved him, they were all gone now.

"I…I…" Juudai couldn't find the words. He couldn't find his voice. There was this sick burning and churning in his stomach. He was filled with so much guilt; he thought he was going to throw up. Just thinking about what he had done to Haou…Just thinking about what he had done to _their_ children! He looked back up at Haou's face, his own twisting in sorrow. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. Already, he was growing desperate for forgiveness, and was breaking out into a cold sweat, his breaths falling faster. Ra, his stomach really hurt now.

"I won't ever do it a—" He began.

Haou stared at him for several agonizing minutes. He had his arms crossed over his chest and looked at Juudai as though he were crazy. His entire being screamed his disbelief. Juudai began to have that sinking feeling, the one that a person experienced when he _knew_ that things were about to turn for the worse. He leaned against the doorway, gripping it, his nails digging into the stone, panting harder. His stomach rumbled uncomfortably, and he felt a hot, stinging sensation rising in his throat.

"_Oh, Ra, no…"_

"I don't believe—" Haou never got to finish his sentence.

_BLEH!_

The next thing The Almighty Supreme King knew was that his boots were covered in puke. He blinked for a moment, startled. He actually looked kinda kawaii with that confused expression on his wittle face. But then, it drooped.

"Oh…just…great." It was said with unenthusiastic sarcasm. Haou stared down at his shoes for a moment; then, his nose wrinkled as he hissed, "Absolutely…_DISGUSTING_!!" Outraged, he shoved Juudai down to the floor and tore a tapestry off the wall, throwing it at Juudai. "Clean this wretched mess up before I have your head!"

"Y-yes sir…" Juudai choked, gagging again.

Haou slammed the door shut and stormed off to clean his boots. He clenched his fists, grinding his teeth. His eye twitched like crazy, the little red blood vessels bulging out of them. "The very _nerve_ of that infantile, irresponsible _imbecile_!" He shrieked. Then, he stopped in the middle of the hall and stamped his foot. "Dammit!" He slammed his fist into the wall, leaving a good-sized dent. Some of the rock crumbled down to the floor. Now Juudai had him using assonance! That was something 4Kids would do! He sounded like a fool!

Embarrassed, he hurried off into the bathroom and slammed the door hard enough for the entire castle to shake. The poor door nearly fell off its hinges. Enough people had witnessed his despicable shame already. If there was something he hated, it was a filthy mess. He needed some time to recover from humiliation and lick his wounds from the butthurt Juudai had given him. How dare he cheat on a king! Who did that, anyway?! There had to be something else at the bottom of this. And Haou was determined to find out, no matter what method of torture he had to use…

* * *

Juudai lay curled up in a fetal position on the floor, fat, hot tears rolling down his face. He hiccupped again as a sob rose in his throat. He felt so wrong, so dirty. And not just because he had thrown up on Haou's shoes. But because of what he had done. How could he have betrayed his husband and Yami? Sure, he didn't _love_ Haou but…even so, he considered Haou one of his best friends. He did _not_ hurt his best friends.

Curling into a tighter ball, Juudai wrapped his arms over his stomach, whimpering. He whispered a faint apology to his children, knowing he had caused them pain. Even if they didn't know it, he worried somehow it would hurt them. Just as he was beginning to have another meltdown, there was an abrupt, angry rapping on the door.

_BAM BAM BAM_

Lifting his shaggy, trembling head, Juudai murmured weakly, "C-Come in…"

The door flew open and Haou stood in the doorway, a silhouetted shadow. Slowly, he stepped inside, a vicious scowl finally being revealed by the wan light on the nightstand. "Juudai…" He hissed, his eyebrows knitting more so together, "We need to have a little talk."

Juudai shrank back, his expression meek. Anytime and every time Haou wanted to "talk," he actually just wanted to beat Juudai wordlessly. He bit his lip and stared down at the dirty floor on which he lay.

Sitting on the edge of a nearby seat, Haou crossed one leg over the other and gazed sternly at the poor boy before him. There was a low whine, which was ceased quickly when Haou dealt a sharp kick to his tender ribs. Moar silence.

"Juudai…" This time, the beast sounded thoughtful. He was drumming his fingers against the desk and staring at the wall, now. "What happened back there?"

A squeak escaped the brunet's lips. This was quite unexpected. Stunned, his mouth flapped open and shut for a few moments, until Haou grew impatient.

"Well, what is it, bitch?!" He screamed, producing a whip from his Magical Jacket of Surprises and letting it hiss in the air next to Juudai's ear.

Whining, Juudai shrank back even more, until he was pressed tightly in the corner of the room. "I…I…I don't know!" He wailed, shielding his head as deft blows reigned upon him swiftly, "I…I just…one moment, I just wanted someone to comfort me and the next…I was in bed with him! I hardly remember what happened! It was just like everything was turned off for a minute and I had no control!"

"But you _did_," Haou snapped, getting up from his seat and stalking over to the trembling fuzzy, coiling his whip in his hand, "and you failed to stay loyal! You know you will pay the price."

"Haou-sama! Oh, please please _please_, I _beg_ you not to!" Juudai got down on his knees, his clasped hands outstretched in a grand show for mercy.

But it did no good. Haou snapped and soon so did his whip. It lashed and crashed against Juudai's pretty little face and nearly broke his weak, girly body in two. But then…just as he could have killed him…he remembered those beautiful brown eyes gazing at him pleadingly, full of tears. His evil kitty heart melted, and he dropped the whip, suddenly falling into a deep, black abyss of depression.

"Oh, Juudai…"

_Flop_ _Flop_

Haou fell to the bed and Juudai passed out, almost simultaneously. Oddly enough, Haou ignored Juudai _because_ of Juudai. More like, he was too busy sucking his thumb inwardly and nursing his emo-ness to notice that his queen had passed out. Well, it didn't really matter anyway. No matter what, Juudai was sure to be fine! After all, the majik of pregnancy (but only to KAWAII babiez) would make everything a-ok! The babies couldn't die, even if it was for a logical reason!

Haou sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. A massive headache was coming on, and this time, it was NOT caused by a nosebleed. He felt so heavy and down…He really should just forget Juudai since he was useless and stupid and forgetful and clueless. If he wanted to find something out, he'd better head to the source.

So what did our favorite an hero do? What any good ol' boyfriend would; he kicked Juudai's limp body under the bed so the servants wouldn't bury it again, and abandoned him to find Johan.

* * *

The door was shut but the room was obviously not empty. Even as Haou stood a few feet away, he could hear muffled noises and giggles and scuffling from behind it. There was a dim light trickling under the door that looked as though its source could be candles. He watched as it flickered maniacally, and frowned. What was going on? He stepped closer to the door and pressed his ear against it.

Apparently, his presence was undetected, because the person behind the door kept doing whatever he was doing.

"_EGO iam dico super vos accerso mihi meus ultimate votum! Caveo of ira of meus penitus ego! Quod ex obscurum ex quod vos erant prognatus , sicco in lux lucis vos vadum step!_ MWAHAHAHAHA! ABRACADABRA!!!" **(1)**

Haou raised an eyebrow. Wtf was going on in there?! It sounded like someone had gotten hold of a free, online translator and was now spewing out what he thought was Latin. Having been raised with Latin as one of his primary languages, he was miffed that anyone would use it so…disdainfully. He wrinkled his nose in disgust and banged on the door.

There was shocked silence for a moment, then hurried scuffling. After a moment, an effeminate voice called hesitantly. "Come in…"

Haou opened the door to find a sheepish, guilty-looking Johan wearing a cheap Harry Potter robe that probably had come from the discount rack at the Halloween shop. Perched atop his head was the cliché wizard cap, complete with the tacky star and moon pattern and foil trim. Haou glared at him.

"What in Ra's name are you _doing_?!" He snapped, looking even more offended. What a disgrace! He had practiced alchemy and black magic as well until he had almost perfectly _mastered _it, and this, this…_buffoon_ was mocking him to the face! First, he had secksed up _his_ Juudai. THEN, he had whinged about it and made a fool of himself. Neither had he apologized. Next, he had slurred the good name of Latin and now…Heaven forbid. He had just done and gone put the Radamn cherry on top of the sundae of shame.

Haou opened his mouth, then closed it, seeing the bubbling black cauldron in the corner. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose again. Forget migraine. This was so bad he thought his head was going to crack open and explode brains everywhere. He was about to say something else, when the cauldron began to glow and cast off hot pink sparks and smoke.

Johan shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe you should leave…."

"What in Ra's holy name are you _doing_?!!" Haou screamed, his eyes darting from Johan to the pot back to Johan again. "You…You…nitwitted _imbecile_!!"

"Now's not the time for that!" Johan wailed, flailing his arms like a bird falling out of flight. "I'm very busy and if you don't leave, something _bad_ could happen!" He stared at Haou with large, glassy eyes, looking very childish indeed.

"UGH." Haou stamped his foot and looked annoyed. "You just get weirder and _weirder_! But…at least I think I know what's going on now." He rolled his eyes and headed for the door. Just as he was about to step through, he glanced over his shoulder, his molten amber eyes flashing fire as he snarled, "You'd better stay away from Juudai. He's _my_ property. And if you dare to lay a finger on him again, I'll _kill you_."

Johan blinked and tried to look kawaii and innocent. "B-but I don't mean to—"

"NO!" Haou slammed the door and stormed down the hall. He'd heard enough. He now was pretty sure that this whole thing _wasn't_ as much Juudai's fault as he had originally thought.

So, he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, and directed his anger elsewhere; those two Obelisk kids really did taste his wrath that day. And if felt so good to Haou to let it out.

However, once the storm of fury had passed over, he drooped again, and felt melancholy. It wasn't Juudai's fault but he _still_ did love another. And now he most certainly could never love Haou. If he'd had any chance of that before, he had just ruined it by abusing him so badly. Well, he couldn't stop completely. But he was already feeling like he wanted to show the poor brunet some sympathy. And give him a well-deserved break. After all, he had a feeling Juudai was hurting inside just as bad—if not worse—and could definitely use the TLC.

He trudged back into his lair, and slammed the heavy door shut, muttering to a few servants to put some more hot coal into the moat to keep it nice and boiling hot. Then, he slipped back into the bedroom where he had left Juudai. He crawled on his hands and knees to peek under the bed and…

He was gone.

Haou stiffened all over again. How _dare_ those filthy servants!! Juudai wasn't dead! Well, when he got a hold on them for burying _his_ property again he would—

All thought ceased when he heard a small sniffle from the nearby bathroom. He lifted his shaggy head to look at the door. Slowly, he arose and made his way over to the door, taking care not to make any noise. Instead of knocking, he pressed his ear against the wood and listened, holding his breath.

_Sniff. Hic. _"Why does everyone hate me, Kuriboh?"

It was muttered so softly that Haou could barely hear it. But when he realized what Juudai had said, he felt his heart ache slightly. So Juudai _was_ feeling the same. Well, hell, of _course_ he was! They _were_ the same person.

"Oh my Ra…" _Sniffle whiffle cough._ "Why do I have to be such an idiot? Why did I sleep with him? Why did he not seem to care? _Why…?_"

Haou could hear him softly pounding his fist against the floor. He could tell by the tone of Juudai's voice that he was sobbing. And as much as he had acted like he didn't care, as much as he had been careful to hide it, he decided it was high time to give Juudai something nice back. Oddly, this kind of thing actually _embarrassed_ him. He would just threaten Juudai so he would keep it a secret.

…He really had no idea how this kindness thing worked.

He really should have knocked but he was the violent type. So he twisted the doorknob until the bathroom door came open, like he had used to do as a kid to his parents. Boy, had they hated that! But that wasn't the point. He stepped inside the room and shut the door again, before kneeling by the poor trembling brunet.

"…and I just can't be strong anymore cuz he…" Juudai was saying. He fell silent and turned white as a sheet when he saw _who_ was sitting next to him. Immediately, he took on the defensive state…by curling up in a fetal position with his arms over his head to protect it from blows. "Please don't hurt me." He squeaked in a tiny voice.

Haou opened his mouth to bark but then had to remind himself he had to be _gentle_. So, he grabbed Juudai's shoulder and jerked him up to a sitting position, thrusting his arms forcefully around him and crushing him in a tight, suffocating hug. They sat there stiffly.

Ok…so maybe he _didn't_ know the definition of gentle. But he was trying!

Juudai peered up at him, confused. His dark eyes were still full of tears and his poor little lip was trembling. He looked so cute and helpless that Haou almost RAEPed him right there. But he quickly controlled himself and just kept looking stern and grim. He had acted like an animal so long that now he would have to retrain himself. It wasn't going to be pleasant for either of them…

It didn't help that Juudai could tell what he wanted to do, and began to tremble even more vigorously because he was so SCRAED. This only served to turn Haou on even more. It was an endless cycle.

But, he knew that he was going to have to step up and be the rock that held Juudai down. Because now he knew the truth about Johan (hell, he had always suspected something was not right with him but _this_…) and it wasn't pretty. Juudai would be crying for weeks once he found out. As he was bound to do, some time or another. Haou was just going to have to at least _try_ not to hurt him so much. The brunet was going to need his Yami more than anything.

There was stifled silence as the two sat unmoving. Haou did not move because he didn't want to do something stupid that would upset Juudai. Juudai didn't move because he was too scared (and because Haou's grip was so tight he just couldn't). The moments seemed to drag on forever, until finally Juudai could not stand it anymore.

"Why are you doing this to me? Haven't you done enough?" He whimpered, beginning to cry again.

Alarmed, Haou held on even _tighter_ which only made Juudai more afraid and only made him cry harder. It finally dawned on the beast that _he_ was only making it worse. So he loosened his grip. Juudai saw his chance and tried to run but Haou just pulled him back down into his lap, determined.

"I don't want to hurt you!" He insisted, trying not to snap it. He wrapped his arms around Juudai again, gently petting his hair.

A sniffle. "You…you don't?" Those angelic dark brown eyes met Haou's, still full of tears. "Then…wha-what are you doing?"

"I just want to make you feel better." Haou explained pathetically. He mulled over whether or not to apologize, then finally decided to try it. He had to turn it over his mind a few times before he opened his mouth. "I'm…I'm…"

Juudai looked at him expectantly. "Wh-What?" He asked fearfully.

"I'm…" Haou strained. Damn, this hurt! He didn't know if he could get it out! It was worse than constipation! "I'm…s-s-…I'm…sor…sorry…I'm sorry." Pause. "That I hurt you…" He looked down at his Hikari, concern evident (for once) in his normally cold, heartless, emotionless eyes.

Juudai was quiet for a moment, and laid his head on Haou's chest, the top of his fluffy hair brushing against the other's chin. He was quiet because he was reeling in disbelief. Could this really be Haou? Could he actually be turning over a new leaf? Well, he wasn't going to question it just in case it was true! Hell, it was too good to be true but he was going to take it.

"It…" He took a deep breath, and squeezed his eyes shut. It was always easy to say to others but…Haou had really really hurt him. How could he forgive him? But he would. "It's Ok." He breathed a sigh of relief once the painful deed was done.

Haou looked relieved as well. He just pressed Juudai's face closer to his chest, entangling his fingers in the umber locks. It felt strange to be nice and hold him, instead of beating him. But…it felt kind of good, too. It was a strange and new feeling. But he kinda liked it.

He brought Juudai closer and held him tightly, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. How could he not have treated him like this more often? How could he have not loved on him? Juudai was very precious to him, and he didn't let himself be loved on by just anyone. Haou really was lucky to have him and hadn't really appreciated him. He found himself gingerly rubbing Juudai's back, planting kisses tenderly against his temple and then down lower to his neck. Perhaps he should say it…

"Juudai…" He pulled back to look the other in the eyes, his own shining a bit in affection as he gently fondled the other's blushing cheek. "I—"

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

"HEY!!!" Haou screamed, "WAIT A SECOND!!! You can't end the chapter here! It's too short! I didn't get to say what I needed to say!"

Juudai shrank back in fear of Haou's yelling. "Haou…please…" He whimpered, tugging on the other's sleeve, "If she wants to end it here, just let it go…you'll find out next time. I'm sure!"

"NO! I REFUSE!!" Haou snarled, "I will NOT let you do this, bitch!"

**(A/N: MWAHAHAHAHA MAKE ME STOP)**

"FINE I WILL!!" Haou whipped out his sword from nowhere, and charged towards the fourth wall.

But alas, it was too powerful. He swung his sword at it, but the force of the impact was deadly, and sent him falling back on his tiny, cute butt.

"HOW DARE YOU DESCRIBE ME IN SUCH A DEMEANING MANNER!!" Haou screamed, his face red as he waved his sword threateningly in the air.

**(A/N: AWWWW!!! SQUEE! Look at the KAWAII NEKO DESU NE~!! ^-^ )**

"I am NOT a kitty!" Haou shrieked, looking even angrier than before. He was huffing and puffing by this point. And looking like he felt rather sick.

Worried, Juudai hurried over to him. "Haou, please be careful! Don't hurt yourself like last time—"

"I know what I'm Radamn doing and that author is going DOWN." Haou jumped up again, but far too quickly for he spun and reeled and fell on his rump again, before passing out from anger.

Juudai shook him several times before dragging him to the bedroom and laying him out on the bed. He sighed heavily. "Not…again…"

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**A/N: -.- I reached a new level of low. Ok, whatever. Anyway, next chapter…A new character arrives on the scene! Johan returns to plead his cause to Juudai! Will Juudai believe him? And boy is he in for a surprise when Johan turns around 180 degrees. 8D What am I talking about? Only the MOST exciting few chapters of the whole story! HAHAHA Wait til next time! 8D And that's all folks!**

**(1): Translation: **_I now call upon you to bring me my ultimate desire! Beware of the wrath of my inner self! And from the darkness from which you were born, out into the light you shall step!_

**Yyyyeaaah…I want this to be wrong. Cuz Johan is stupid in this fic. XD And yes I did use an online translator. If I'd wanted it to be right, I would have found someone who could actually SPEAK Latin. : /**


	9. Chapter 9: Johan Meet Johan

**A/N: BAW!! This is, like, the only story I can write right now. T.T I FUCKIN HATE MY WRITER'S BLOCK!! DIE, WRITER'S BLOCK, DIE!! –kills violently- -thrashes and foams at the mouth- I have been very angry recently and this does not help…Oh well. Maybe I can finally make something right. D:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Why don't I own GX? Life isn't fair, is it? DDD;**

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* * *

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Chapter 9: Johan meet Johan

"Oi! Juu-Juu-chan! Talk to me!" Johan grabbed the small brunette by the shoulder and jerked him around to face him. His sea green eyes were filled with concern. "Why have you been avoiding me?" He asked breathlessly.

Juudai's face turned tomato red. "I…It's not like that," He said hurriedly, running a hand through his choppy brown hair, "I've just had a lot on my mind." He turned back around towards his locker, trying to ignore the persistent bluenette.

But Johan would have none of it. He slammed the locker door shut, almost on Juudai's fingers. Then, he leaned against the lockers, scowling and trying his best to look like he meant srs bzns. "I mean it, Juudai. I know you've been avoiding me."

"Really?" Juudai raised an eyebrow, then challenged, "Prove it."

"Ok, I will!" Johan paused for a moment, his forefinger pressed cutely under his lower lip, then snapped his fingers, his eyes lighting up. "Aha! I'll tell you what. What about that time two days ago at lunch when I called out to you and you hunched over and ran into the swarming crowd? Huh? What do you have to say about that? And why have you been wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled over you head in a desperate, yet failing, attempt to hide your face?" **(1)**

"Maybe I'm just cold," Juudai insisted, "And maybe I don't want everyone to see that I'm pregnant." He glared at the other boy, his lower lip stuck out in an obvious pout.

Johan looked as though the idea of Juudai wanting to conceal his pregnancy was absolutely ludicrous. His mouth hung agape. "B-but, Juu-Juu-chan! You're so _kawaii_ when you're pregnant _desu_~! Why would you want to hide it?"

"Because I'm a _guy_," Juudai pointed out, "In case you haven't noticed. Now if you'll excuse me, I have someplace to be."

Johan's eyes grew large and moist with tears. They sparkled epically and he reverted to chibi form. "B-b-but, Juu-Juu! You can't leave me _desu_~! I want to make up I_ desu~_! I want you to talk to me again _desu~_! I love you _desu_~!!"

The brunette gritted his teeth in annoyance. Not only was Johan being a pest but he was also trying too hard to speak Wapanese. He sighed. Why did people always feel the need to abuse his language so?

"Well," He sighed, crossing his arms, "If you really want to prove to me you care and love me, then respect me when I say give me some time. I really want to be with you but I have someone already…even if I don't want him…" The last part was muttered. He paused to let this information sink in, then continued. "Look, I don't even know if you mean what you say. You take my feelings so casually. I mean, you seemed more interested in sex than anything else. I don't even know _why_ I had sex with you in the first place. I wasn't planning on it…" He trailed off, looking thoughtful. Then, he turned his attention back to Johan, only to find the bluenette staring off into space with a vapid expression and blank, glazed over eyes. His mouth was hanging open slightly and a bit of drool was overhanging his bottom lip. "Hey! Are you even listening?"

Hearing the rise in Juudai's tone, indicating a question had been asked, Johan quickly improvised. "H-huh? I…I mean…uuhhhh…y-yeah. Definitely….yes."

The brunette dropped his arms at his sides and sighed again in defeat. "Well that pretty much so answers my question," He muttered, "I guess I see how you feel now. Look, I'll see you later. I really g2g."

Johan stood there dumbly for a moment before he realized that his sex toy was getting away. He had to think of something to redeem himself, and quick! "J-Juu-Juu!!" He stammered, his emerald eyes widening in surprise, "I'm sorry! I've got a lot on my mind, Ok? Things are just…kinda crazy at the moment but I'll make it up to you. Promise!"

"Yeah, yeah," Juudai wasn't buying it. He kept walking, hugging his books to his chest as though to try to protect his aching heart. He cast a small, forlorn glance over his shoulder.

"I'll text you later, 'k?"

"Mmk."

Juudai almost felt as though he could care less if the other ever texted him again.

* * *

By the time classes let out and Juudai returned to his dorm room, he was pretty down in the dumps. Being pregnant was so much harder than it looked! He really had to give kudos to the moms out there. Not only were his hormones driving him crazy, but he couldn't get that stupid European imbecile out of his mind. What was wrong with that boy? Why was he acting all nicey-nice one minute and the next…he was ignoring him? Ok, so Juudai hadn't really wanted to talk to him a lot, especially after what had happened, but that gave him no excuse to chase after him and then calmly ignore him at lunch. Why were men so complicated?

Sighing and feeling depressed, he dropped back against his bed and stared at the bunk. Today sucked. Like…major suck. Like sucking Haou's dick suck. And that was pretty bad. Just thinking about it made him want to throw up. Or was that the babies talking?

Speaking of Haou…There was a bright flash of light from within his closet, and the aforementioned beastie stepped out, looking as dignified as one can when exiting a closet. He surveyed his surroundings before his cold eyes finally fell upon his kawaii Juudai-chan. His eyes softened a bit and he sank down into a chair next to the bed. Juudai rolled on his side, facing the wall.

He could practically hear the scowl in Haou's voice when he asked, "What's wrong with you?!"

"Oh, it's nothing," Juudai grumbled, feeling even more downcast, "Johan's just being his usual confusing self."

He was answered with silence. Of course, he took this as an indication to continue. Though, in reality, it meant that Haou was not interested.

"He doesn't always act like this," Juudai went on, much to Haou's dismay, "I mean, one minute he was pretty much so begging me to come back to him. Though, I never was really with him in the first place…Huh….Anyway! Um…then later today he was ignoring me at lunch. He even walked right past me without a word when I slipped on the spaghetti that Fubuki spilled all over the floor! He didn't even help me at all! I don't know what's wrong with him." He sighed heavily.

"Well it's obvious to me," Haou pointed out after a moment's thought, "Every time he has a chance at getting into your pants, then he will treat you like a gentleman. Otherwise, he's preoccupied in some other matter."

Juudai pouted. "You've GOT to be kidding me…"

"Oh, come on!" Haou snapped, "Don't tell me you're THAT dense! Don't be stupid. He just wants you for sex."

"No, he doesn't! He's not like that at all! You're just jealous," Juudai insisted, sitting up and crossing his arms. He turned to face Haou, his eyes flashing in anger.

"Maybe I am," Haou seethed, leaning into Juudai's face and staring him right in the eyes, "But that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about. Trust me. Once he realizes he's not going to get any, he'll take his leave. In fact, I bet you a million yen that he'll be fawning all over someone new by this afternoon!"

"I bet not!" Juudai growled, "You seriously underestimate him."

"And you are seriously blinded!" Haou snapped, "I'll take that bet."

"Fine!" Juudai grabbed Haou's outstretched hand and shook it hard. "But when I prove you wrong…you're going to be sorry." His eyes narrowed.

"Fine! Go ahead and try to 'prove me wrong.' But I know what I'm talking about. And you can come crying back to me all you want." Haou snarled, standing up and heading towards the door.

"I won't!" Juudai called after him, "I don't _need_ you!"

Haou merely growled in response as he slammed the door hard enough to shake the room. But Juudai didn't care. He was too angry to care. How dare Haou talk so badly about his best friend! Though…he kind of _did_ have a point. As much as Juudai didn't want to admit it...Johan was acting more like a horny beast than a best friend.

Feeling angry and sorrowful, the poor wittle brunet screamed and slammed his forehead into his fluffy pillow. Those stupid people he knew could rot for all he cared. He was going to stay in this room for the rest of his pathetic life. And no one was going to stop him. They all hated him anyway. It was what they deserved for being mean!

…Funny how his plans changed in the instant he heard his phone buzz, signaling a text had been received.

Quickly, he lunged for his phone and flipped it open. A little pout of dismay crossed his cute baby face as soon as he saw who it was from. Johan. Of course it had to be from Johan!

"So the dumbass is crawling back to me, huh?" Juudai grumbled, starting to open it, "Well, we'll see what he thinks when I tell him no and to lick my feet!" He smirked in satisfaction.

That was, until he read it. Then that smug look dropped off his face in an instant. His hand trembled and he swallowed hard.

Johan was not crawling back to him. He wanted Juudai and Haou to meet him for dinner. The pertinent information was left out but Juudai could read between the lines. _He had someone special to introduce them to_.

Juudai collapsed to the bed, in a daze. It was clear to him; Johan had found a new lover.

* * *

Seven o' clock. In the PM. Just the time that Johan had wanted them to meet him. Juudai was squirming in the booth of the fancy restaurant, feeling awkward. Nausea was trying to set in, and this time, it was _not_ from the pregnancy. A small whimper escaped his lips but he was quickly hushed by one harsh look from The Haou Beast.

"Quiet!" Haou hissed, looking like an irritated neko.

A few tense, silent minutes passed. Haou sat stiffly; Juudai drummed his fingers on the table. Haou's golden eyes slid slowly in his direction and a low growl erupted from the depths of his chest. How annoying and obnoxious! Swiftly, he reached out and slapped the poor brunet's hand to show his aggravation. That would show him!

Juudai's chocolate eyes filled with tears. Not only had Haou slapped too hard, but he had hurt his wittle feelings!! He was so nervous about this whole thing and needed Haou's support. He had thought the bastard had turned over a new leaf. Well, of course he had to be wrong.

Seeing the Osiris student's sorrowful, broken eyes, Haou's evil heart melted. He slipped an arm around his waist and drew him close, his face still clouded over in darkness and anger. As uncomfortable as Juudai was with this arrangement, it was also a bit comforting, considering. At least Haou had realized the error of his ways.

"Haou-sama?" Juudai put a finger under his lower lip, trembling cutely.

"Hn?" Haou grunted in response. He didn't even look over at the brunet. But his face burned bright red.

"Thanks for trying." He smiled weakly and squeezed the king in a tight hug, wrapping all four limbs around his waist.

As embarrassing as it was for him, Haou did nothing to push him away. Actually, it made him feel rather warm and fuzzy inside. Heh, he could used to this feeling! Warm and fuzzy…warm and fuzzy…kind of like a teddy bear! Like the one he used to sleep with until—

"Oi, oi, oi!! Juu-Juu-chan-chi-kun~!!"

Well…there went their fuzzy moment. Haou's rose colored glasses shattered in a thousand pieces of dark death. His face hardened into the epitome of solemnity.

Johan pranced over to the table, a big, cheesy grin on his face and his arm around the waist of someone that…looked exactly like him. Except, this Johan clone was taller, more muscular, and had orange eyes. Oh, and, he was dressed like a bondage slave. He smirked when he caught Haou's eye and stuck his tongue out sexily.

"Hey, there, Haou-sama," He purred, licking his lips as though he had spotted a tastey dish of chikin.

Haou's face turned scarlet red in response. He wasn't quite sure who this person was, at first, but he had this nagging feeling that he recognized the aura he gave off. And this person was making him feel unnaturally gushy. He swallowed the sickly sweet down and turned his focus to the VERY interesting table-top.

"Oh, cut that out, sweetie," Johan giggled, gently brushing him off.

Juudai swallowed hard. Sweetie? Oh, Ra…he had known it…He felt sicker. His grip around Haou's waist tightened and his entire body shook. Haou quickly turned his attention back to the other. Feeling concerned, he brought him closer, holding him tightly for support.

The two Johans slipped into the booth across from them. Johan looked as though he was about to explain but before a word could come out of his mouth, Fubuki came rushing over to the table, riding on a cart.

"Hey, guys!" He called cheerfully. Then, seeing the two Juudais and the two Johans… "Whoa…I gotta get my eyes checked! I'm seeing double!!"

"No, your eyes are fine," Johan assured him, smiling widely, "This is actually my Yami. His name is Yohan."

There was a long pause as all parties stared. Finally, Haou broke the silence. "What's…the difference?"

"Well," Johan said happily, "My name is spelled with a J. And his name is spelled with a Y!!"

Juudai and Haou exchanged a glance. Ok, so the name might be spelled differently but…if it sounded EXACTLY the same, then what good was it? This was going to be one confusing night…

"Oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!" Fubuki screamed so loudly the whole restaurant turned to look at him. "I SEE!!! WELL THAT REALLY CLEARS THINGS UP!!!"

Haou facepalmed. How embarrassing. "Please lower your voice," He seethed through clenched teeth. "Anyway, what are YOU doing here? Trying to ruin our evening?"

The surfer boy grinned cockily and flipped his long, luscious hair over his shoulder. "No, bros. I work here!" He extended his arms and looked joyful. "This is my second home! My environment! Where I belong! Here, I am loved and accepted for who I _am_!!"

A long silence. "What?!" All parties stared again. He was making little sense. Typical Fubuki.

"Anyway, I brought you guys dinner." Fubuki gestured towards the cart, which had a large, covered silver platter atop it.

"Um, no offense," Yohan said, "But…we haven't actually ordered yet."

"Oh, that's Ok," Fubuki insisted, "I can read your minds. Woooo! Behold the power!!" He wiggled his fingers dramatically in the air, pursing his lips into the shape of an 'O.'

They were not certain of his 'powers.' But before any of them could protest, Fubuki yanked the cover off the platter, and slammed their plates dramatically on the table. Much to their astonishment, it was exactly what they had wanted. For a moment, all they could do was stare at their plates in wonder and horror. By the time they looked up, Fubuki was gone. They all felt strange.

Nevertheless, they just began to eat, not knowing what else to do.

"So," Juudai said nervously, "This is your Yami…?"

"Yeah," Johan replied, grinning through a mouthful of salad. He looked like a slob. "But not just that…He's my sweetie-pookie-pie! And I luffles him with all my heart!!" By the end of his sentence, his voice had taken on a girlish squee. "Isn't he just the KAWAII-EST?!!"

Yohan merely smirked and looked sexy and sinister as Johan squeezed the living hell out of him, squealing all in his ear. He draped a muscular arm around Johan's shoulders. "That's right, baby. I love you, too."

They rubbed their noses together, holding each other tenderly and tightly. And then came the flood of pet names…

"Darling pooh bear!"

"Sweet-chi~!"

"Lovely fuzzymuffin!"

"Baby fluffy angel neko!"

Needless to say, Haou and Juudai fell very ill at this. Haou hated it because it was too sickly sweet for him to stand. Juudai hated it because Johan had been with him telling him he was in love with him _less than a week ago_.

Slowly, Juudai pushed his plate away. He felt like he was going to barf. If he wasn't going to do that, then he was surely going to cry. The shock was wearing off and he was beginning to realize what had happened. He'd been used. Royally used. He could hardly stand this anymore.

However, he was too frozen stiff to be able to get up. All he could do was stare in disbelief as the two new lovebirds showered him in obnoxious P.D.A. His eyes began to sting as Yohan offered Johan a bit of pocky, holding it in between his teeth. Johan accepted it and then the two shared a long, passionate kiss.

Juudai's vision blurred over at this point as a sharp pang stabbed through him like a knife. He felt like he was bleeding inside, dying. Haou's golden eyes were wide in horror, and his lip was curled upwards in a disgusted snarl. However, when he spotted Juudai's expression, when he saw that the other was about to be sick, he grew concerned. The brunet stood quickly and dropped his napkin on the table.

"Um, I don't feel well. Do you guys mind if Haou takes me home?" Juudai's voice shook. He forced a smile, but his lips were twitching, his brown eyes quivering and full of heartache. He knew Haou didn't want to stay anyway. And he didn't care if it was rude. He just _had_ to get out of there. This was the worst thing he'd even been put through! First he'd lost Johan because Haou had stolen him away. And then, Johan didn't even really care in the first place! What a dick!

"No, go ahead," Johan said airily, staring dreamily into Yohan's eyes. He looked all a-gaga with newfound love.

"Ok, see ya." Juudai grabbed Haou's wrist and yanked him out of the booth, pulling him towards the door. He did not look back and neither did Johan.

Not a word was exchanged between the two until they were in the car and on their way back. Juudai sat stiffly, hunched over, his arms crossed over his chest. Even in the dark, Haou could see that he was shaking. And he _knew_ the poor baby had to be crying. Sure enough, a small sniffle came from his direction. Haou's heart melted. He wanted to comfort him but he just didn't know _how_.

Slowly, he reached out and patted the other's knee. Another sniffle escaped, but Juudai gratefully grasped Haou's warm hand. The two laced fingers and held on tightly for the rest of the ride. Neither said a word, but neither had to in order to know what the other was feeling. All intentions were communicated nonverbally.

Juudai was quiet even as they exited the portal and crossed over the threshold of their bedroom in Haou's castle. He only flopped onto the bed and buried his face in the pillow. The king sat carefully on the edge of the bed, watching his Juudai with worried neko eyes. A little whimper escaped the tiny brunet. His shoulders began to shake with silent sobs. Part of Haou was horridly annoyed. Another part of him was desperate to fix this problem. What could he do to make it better?

He finally opted to _ask_ Juudai if he could help. "Is there anything I can do?" For once, his voice sounded strained and anxious.

Juudai shook his head. "No," He sobbed, "You can't do anything! It's not up to you anyway. It's not your fault that I was a big doofus." He lifted his trembling, fuzzy ginger head, sniffing loudly. A trail of snot still attached him to the pillow. Haou cringed, grossed out.

"Well…do you…want to talk?" Haou felt awkward but he _had_ to help. Otherwise, Juudai might kill himself! He knew how these stupid teen romances worked.

At first, Juudai shook his head. Then, he thought better of it. "It's…it's not fair!" He complained, wailing and flinging himself against Haou's chest, "That stupid idiot!! He knew I loved him and what did he do? He made me believe he felt the same way and then he had his way and, and, and…then he _dumped_ me! What the fuzz?!!! I mean…w-we were talking about how we felt way before you came along…I really thought he loved me! He told me so many times! I don't know what got into him…Maybe when he saw he wasn't going to get sex…" A loud cry of distress. Haou winced and plugged his ears, looking about for an escape. But there was none. Juudai only continued, crying hopelessly…And endlessly. "You were RIGHT!!! I'm SO sorry! I just don't know how I'm ever going to raise a million yen for you!!"

"D-Don't worry about the yen!" Haou said quickly, rubbing his back in a futile attempt to calm him down, "Just relax…P-Please…" His own lip quivered slightly. Oh, NO!!! Would this torment ever END?! But he had to be patient. And gentle. He had to take a DEEP breath to try to calm his irritated nerves down. Controlling himself was hard!

"I…I don't know h-how I could've been so DUMB!!!" Juudai screamed loudly and angrily, beginning to thrash, "I was stupid and you know it! I just wish I could take all those things I did back and make it right! BAWWWWW!!!!!!"

Haou sighed, exasperated. "Why don't you just relax? Why don't you just lay down, and try to rest a bit…" He laid Juudai's head down on the pillow.

The brunet dropped, exhausted. His entire body went limp. He even stopped crying, he'd worn himself out so much. A little sigh of relief escaped Haou's lips as he settled down next to him. There were a few moments of precious, precious silence. And then, Juudai latched onto Haou liked a leech, gripping the fabric of his jacket tightly in his fists.

"Haou-sama?" He whimpered, looking up at the other with shiny eyes.

"What is it, Juudai?" He groaned, tired.

"Promise you won't leave me?" It was spoken in a tiny, barely audible whisper.

Haou glanced down at the poor little brunet, who was gazing up at him with hopeful eyes. It took him no hesitation to know his answer. He loved Juudai and the poor angle needed him, now more than ever. "Of course I'll never leave you." He murmured, brushing some of the hair out of Juudai's eyes.

Even though Juudai was unsure, he relaxed hearing those words. Haou was treating him more gently and trying to take care of him. He might as well believe what he said, even if only for the moment. A tiny smile came to his lips. "Thanks."

Haou said nothing in return. Instead, he let his actions speak for him. Brushing the bangs from Juudai's forehead, he planted a gentle kiss there as Juudai's eyelids fluttered shut. And Juudai did not mind a bit. Within the next few minutes, he was sleeping peacefully, his small, warm figured pressed against Haou's. Maybe, just maybe, this was all for the better.

* * *

**A/N: Wooooo 8D I made Johan evil! YAY HAHAHA. That was fun. X) Anyway…next chapter…I will be pushing the T rating as far as I can. Crack! Make up! Comfort! Secks time!! Without going into too much detail. BOOO =[ But I want it to be that way. It'll be kinda like the JohanxJuudai lemon earlier…as far as detail goes. XD**

**I did that when I had stalkers at school and I was trying to hide from this guy that was almost my boyfriend and was awful to me. :(**


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